Shudder
by hands-of-blue
Summary: Full Summary inside-College is starting and Naomi is a female version of Cook. Emily still yearns for Naomi's love, but will she only find heartache?
1. Not Finch

_(Full Summary) Entering into College, the whole Skins gang is casual friends, but Naomi and Cook are the true partners in crime. After secretly admiring Naomi for years, Emily wishes to reveal her feelings and lead Naomi out of darkness. Alas, things can never be simple, but love can make it worth fighting for._

_A/N: This is my first Naomily fic, but I adore this couple and will try not to disappoint. You must forgive me, however, if they characters' speech is off since I'm not English, but I'll try my best._

_Finally, while I don't usually like to reference songs in my stories I will be doing so for this one. I loved how music played such a role in Skins and want to keep that feel alive. At the beginning of each set of song lyrics I'll assign a certain number of asterisks. At the end of each chapter, the songs' titles and artists will be displayed at the bottom._

Not Finch

"What the fuck Emily, I'm not gonna wait for you foreva!" Katie screamed through the bathroom door while shaking its hinges from her fists colliding into it. Emily winced as she plunged her eyeliner into her right eye. Tears instantly welled up and blurred her vision while she gently splashed water against her eye. Leaning on the sink with her palms, listening to her twin sister shout a myriad of profanities at her, Emily decided to apply the freezing water across her whole face. After taking a final composing breath and dabbing her face dry, Emily reached for the door.

"Katie please…" But no one stands in the hallway to greet Emily's sight. Slowly, she took a few steps out of the bathroom and peeked into the bedroom the twin teenagers still shared. All was silent through the house, a scary thought to Emily, until she heard a car's engine whine outside.

"Katie, you wouldn't dare, you wanker." Emily whispered to herself as she rushed over to the bedroom window and quickly raised it open. The air that flew into Emily was crisp and sweet. The sunlight that glistened off of her cherry red hair warmed her skin. It was truly a beautiful day, except that Emily was watching Katie speed away with her some prick in his prickish car.

Emily retrieved her bottom jaw from its newfound place on the windowsill and pulled her head back into the room, shutting the window behind her. While it was a fact that Katie was not the best sister one could have, abandoning Emily on the first day of college was an all time low. Emily snuck a look at the clock in between their beds and let a frustrated puff of air escape her pouting lips. She had more than enough time to get to school, but thought it was best to set out right way. Dragging her feet down the stairs and into the kitchen, Emily flung open the refrigerator door to fish out an apple.

The only one left was a green apple. Emily hated green apples. She clenched her eyes closed and bit her lower lip for a moment before releasing it and grabbing the offensive piece of fruit. Emily then turned on her heel, picked up her book bag from near the table, and slammed the door shut as she made her journey to college.

* * *

_*Fall is here, hear the yell_

_Back to school, ring the bell_

_Brand new shoes, walking blues_

_Climb the fence, books and pens_

_I can tell that we are gonna be friends_

Emily kept her head down for the majority of her walk thus far. She figured she was only about halfway there now and the slip-ons she wore were already demolishing her feet. The occasional breeze that ruffled her purple skirt and made her nose twitch helped ease her suffering. That was so; at least, until Emily saw two people come bursting through a row of bushes a quarter of a block ahead of her. The scrappy looking boy fell against a tree while clutching his side and the bleach blond girl gaze back into the direction they came from. She let out a long whistle before spinning around and slapping the boy on the shoulder.

"Don't worry mate, we lost the husband. But damn that run was worth catching a look at those tits!" The two broke out into a fit of laughter while Emily continued to look on. She hoped they wouldn't notice her, although she was standing close by, in the middle of a bright day, staring at them. Suddenly, the girl glanced over at Emily, still wearing a crooked smile, and Emily's breath caught in her throat.

"Oi, Cook, it's one of the Finches." The blond motioned toward Emily and the boy huffed before straightening up and tossing his arms out.

"Aww, come 'ere little birdie!" Seeing no way around this encounter, Emily held her arms around her waist as she crept toward the duo. She never completely took her eyes off of the girl. When she finally reached where they stood, Emily lifting her eyes back up to take in both of the people before her.

"Hey Cook. H-hi Naomi." Once Emily's eyes met Naomi's, they lingered there again for a beat. The trance was effectively broken when Cook gripped a hand onto Emily's lower back.

"What ya doin out here without the otha bird squawkin aroun?" Cook clung onto Emily's side while passing a few suggestive looks at her. She squirmed out of his hold, but bumped against Naomi's side. The muscles in Emily's stomach tensed for a second, but she was able to recover quickly.

"You guys know how Katie is." Emily's voice quivered with the slightest hint of sadness.

"She left you, didn't she?" The redhead allowed her eyes to flick over to Naomi and shook her head timidly in response. In an instant, Emily felt a rush of warmth flood through her body as Naomi snaked an arm around Emily's shoulders.

"Well that's alright, you got good ol' Cook and Naomi to see you safely to school today." Naomi winked down at Emily before using her other arm to reach across and take the lit spliff Cook was offering to her. Cook blew a few smoke rings and started howling. Naomi, still holding onto Emily, began giggling continually while Emily guided the three of them to college.

"Thanks guys. But it's Fitch, not Finch."

_*Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed_

_When silly thoughts go through my head_

_About the bugs and alphabet_

_And when I wake tomorrow I'll bet_

_That you and I will walk together again_

_Cause I can tell that we_

_Are going to be friends_

* * *

_*"We're going to be friends"-The White Stripes_

_Reviews are hugely appreciated! _


	2. Easier When Naked

_A/N: I know the first chapter was pretty short, but don't be afraid to give feedback. Even if it's something minor, I'm always interested to know what's on people's minds. Plus it motivates me to write faster and of course you all want that right? _

Easier When Naked

_*Cool yourself_

_You are flush red_

_Your ankles make you twist_

_Cause the truth made you bend_

_But oh goddamn_

_If you wanted it you would_

The second half of the trip to college took twenty minutes longer than when Emily had originally set out on her own. It seemed Emily had to pull Naomi and Cook away from distractions every minute, and they were easily distracted. It certainly was a good thing Emily left the house as early as she did, or perhaps it wasn't such a good thing; the redhead wasn't quite sure yet.

For the duration of the groups walk, Naomi maintained physical contact with Emily somehow. At one point the blond did extract her arm away from Emily's shoulders so she could try to wave down a short brunette across the street.

"Oi, come on, you know you want a private interview with Naomi Campbell!" The brunette girl shot Naomi a confused expression, but slowed down her pace. When the blond attempted to cross the street to reach the girl, Emily's hand snatched the taller girl's wrist.

"Naomi, don't go." Emily's eyes pleaded with Naomi's when the blond flailed around. At first, Naomi wore a right pissed face, but at hearing Emily's voice, her look softened.

"Alright, but just this once, and only because your sister was such a bitch to you." Naomi revealed a slight smile for Emily who couldn't help, but release a proud grin of her own. In a flash, Naomi leaned into Emily, making the sides of their cheeks rub together and Emily's left ear wiggle at the sensation of Naomi's breath beating against it. "Besides, I think you just want me all to yourself." Naomi whispered and Emily could hear her frantic heart smashing into her chest, trying so desperately to wrestle with Naomi's.

Just as quickly as this exchange took place, it was over as Emily soon found herself being pulled by the hand in the direction of college. The soft feel of Naomi's fingers wrapped around Emily's made the redhead's mind go hazy. After a few moments, however, something became very clear to Emily and she squeezed the blond's hand to make them stop moving. For a second time today, Naomi flung herself back around to face Emily, but this time she was simply curious.

"Where's Cook?" Emily noticed a sense of panic beginning to worm its way through her stomach. She should have been keeping her eye of him to make sure he didn't get himself into any trouble. But keeping her eye on Naomi was just so much more…rewarding.

"Aw don't worry Em, I saw him make off with that girl you pulled me away from. I don't blame him either. Poor lad is gonna need all the help he can get today." College was slowly coming into view up ahead by this point. Naomi fished out another spliff from the back pocket of her black shorts and took a few generous drags on it after it was lit. The blond slipped her lighter with an imprint of the Japanese flag on it back into her front pocket and offered the spliff to Emily. The redhead declined, so Naomi shrugged and hastily finished it herself.

"Naomi, what did you mean about Cook needing help today?" Emily stared at Naomi as they continued to walk in silence. Naomi seemed to be star struck by the pavement, her mouth ajar. Emily shyly placed a hand on Naomi's forearm, causing the taller girl to jump.

"Oh hey Emily. Um, what, oh yeah. Cookie and I made a bet this morning, you see love. We was wondering who could shag more lasses on this fine first day of college. I know the wanker's gonna lose, so he might as well get in a bit of pity sex before his humiliation begins." At hearing Naomi's words, Emily's heart sunk ever so slightly. It was no secret that, in addition to the plethora of drugs, Naomi and Cook partook in excessive amounts of shagging randoms. It was still hard for Emily to handle that fact when it was so clearly presented to her.

"Naomi, can I ask you something…personal?" Naomi glanced over at Emily and flashed a big, sleepy smile.

"Oh we can get personal anytime little bird." Emily tried desperately to suppress the tickle of a blush she could feel welling up her neck. She pushed through anyways and cleared her throat a bit to stop it from sounding quite as raspy.

"Why don't you ever have a relationship with any of these girls you shag? I mean, what's so special about all this fucking if you just get that momentary bit of gratification?" The redhead instantly knitted her eyebrows together when Naomi broke out into a huge fit of laughter. After snorting a few times and stopping to lean against Emily's small frame for support, Naomi took a breath.

"Sweet little bird, there's nothing special about simply shagging someone. That's what makes it such a foolproof business! I don't have to deal with all the messy attachments and lose of any gratification this way. All I have to do is keep jumping from bedroom to bedroom and I can stay a happy lass for a long time."

"But, don't you ever wish you had someone to love, and love you in return? Someone who will always be by your side no matter what." Emily's voice quietly trailed off. She wasn't sure if Naomi really caught all of that or not.

"I do have someone like that: vodka. Vodka never lets me down, that's for sure. Look, things are just so much easier when you're naked you know." Naomi turned her head away from Emily, fully disinterested in continuing this conversation. The redhead held her arms around her own waist again and whispered softly.

"No, I wouldn't know that."

_*I will love you like this now_

_You can recognize it later_

_I will love you like this now_

_You can recognize it later_

_But I would never blame you_

_If you would never stay here_

* * *

_**I'm a new soul _

_I came to this strange world_

_Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take_

_But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear_

_Finding myself making every possible mistake_

Naomi and Emily reached the front steps of the college shortly after their little banter had ended. Pandora and Effy were the first to descend upon the girls the moment they arrived. Pandora squealed with delight, grabbed Emily's shoulders, and frantically began chatting her up about something. What that something was, Emily had no idea. Effy smoothly strolled over and smiled crookedly at Emily.

"Panda breathe. Alright Emily, Naomi?" Pandora nodded at Effy's comment and stepped away from Emily who twitched a grateful smile toward Effy. Naomi threw an arm around Effy's back and planted a light kiss on her cheek.

"Ah Em and I are great. We had a proper walk together. You know that twat Katie…" Before Naomi could conclude her sentence, the topic of discussion emerged through a sea of teenagers. Katie tugged Emily, causing her to almost fall over, and immediately started in on her.

"What the fuck Emily, why did you take so long this morning? You know I waited for you for an hour! I told you to stop having your lezza daydreams. Now I'm not walking home with you either cause Danny wants me to go to this party tonight. I would tell you to come along, but I don't want you to fuck it up for me. So when you get home right away, cause I know you don't have anything else to do, you're gonna tell mum and dad that I'm spending the night at Panda's house. And you better not do this again to me tomorrow. You have no idea how much I put up with for you!" Katie stood red faced and pointed a sharp, manicured fingernail viciously into Emily's chest. The younger twin opened her mouth to protest, but quickly closed it and looked down at the ground when Katie raised an eyebrow dangerously at her.

Katie dropped her hand and glanced triumphantly at the others standing around. Pandora averted her gaze and Effy shook her head in disgust. Naomi's eyes flicked from each one of the girls in amazement. She had known the twins long enough to realize that Katie's domination over her sister had only been getting worse. When Naomi's eye finally fell on Emily's defeated and slumped shoulders, she became vaguely aware of her feet rushing forward.

Naomi stepped in front of Emily, shielding her from her sister, and pushed Katie back with a forceful palm in the stomach. Katie tripped and fell on the ground awkwardly, flashing some passer-bys with her short, leopard print skirt. Freddie and JJ ran up to witness the event and they, along with Pandora and Effy looked on it shock. Naomi hesitated, she would much rather shag than argue, but when she felt Emily gently rest a hand on the small of her back, it emboldened the blond.

"Katie, you are a fuckin wanker! You left Emily to walk all the way to college on her first day. What if something bad happened to her? And now you don't even have enough decency to walk back home with her? Oh you're a proper sister I see. Telling Emily what to do and putting her down in front of all of us. All you care about is yourself and how good you look to people you stupid bitch." Someone walking by whistled at this scene and Katie jumped back up. Without missing a beat, she launched into her own assessment.

"Oh bugger off Naomi. The only reason you're standing up for Emily is cause she's still on your "to shag" list. That's probably the only reason you agreed to walk with her this morning. Let me guess, you'll walk her home too huh? Do you want me to call you when she needs to be tucked into bed tonight? Now get out of my way lezza." Katie pushed past Naomi and stormed into college, leaving everyone left behind her silent.

"Naomikins, that was the tits!" Cook shouted as he stumbled into the crowd of friends. Naomi instantly brightened up and slapped Cook on the back, breaking away from the pressure of Emily's hand against her back.

Naomi and Cook started rambling about the brunette from earlier and Freddie and JJ quickly joined the conversation. Deflated, Emily turned to walk alone into the college, but Pandora and Effy swooped in.

"Boys...and Naomi, will be boys...and Naomi." Emily cracked a little smile and shook her head at Pandora. At this, Pandora continued her tirade from before while Emily and Effy listened quietly. When there was a pause in Pandora's speech, Effy used a finger to tipped Emily's head up and looked into her eyes.

"List or not; she really does care."

_**See I'm a young soul in this very strange world_

_Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout what is true and fake_

_But why all this hate? Try to communicate_

_Finding trust and love is not always easy to make_

* * *

_*"Cool Yourself"-Thao with the get down stay down_

_**"New Soul"-Yael Naim_

_Review!_


	3. The Merciful Heartbreaker

_A/N: Please put the pitchforks and torches down! I know I'm a monster for not updating this sooner, so I give you this chapter and another is literally right behind it. And I've loaded them with loving bits of storytelling for your Naomily pleasure! But fear not you drama hounds; I plan on making this a long tale with twists and hardships too. _

The Merciful Heartbreaker

Emily wanted to throw up in history class. She already had to use all of her strength this morning to not glare at girls Naomi was hitting on during assembly. Twice she noticed Naomi slip out the side door of the gym with a giggling girl. Twice Emily's eyes stung with tears like lava when Naomi and the lucky lass fumbled back in shortly afterwards.

Naomi was well versed in the ancient arts of seduction. She should be able to sense when someone was flirting with her, even in the slightest. Yet after four years of Emily covertly dropping evidence of her feelings for Naomi right in the blond's lap, no chase was ever given. Except, of course, for the constant chase Emily futilely engaged in.

But as of now, Emily officially hated Naomi.

Sitting in history, daydreaming of everything and nothing, Emily happened to absent-mindedly tip her head to the left. She peered out the windows that gave her a view into the hallway outside her classroom and her eyelids sprung wide open.

Standing directly parallel to where Emily sat was Naomi.

With a curvaceous dark haired girl.

Pressed against a row of lockers.

With the blond's head buried in the girl's neck.

Every muscle in Emily's body tensed and surged with fiery anger and disgust. She bolted up from her chair and twisted the rod to close the blinds of the window and shield everyone from Naomi's display of sexual dominance. Instead of stopping there and returning to her seat, Emily continued towards the door.

"Bathroom." She huskily grunted to the teacher and flung herself into the hallway. Emily charged over to the pair against the lockers and, with strength uncharacteristic of her stature, grabbed Naomi's right bicep and quite literally ripped her off the dark haired girl. Once Emily was satisfied with how much the two had become untangled, she alternated between pushing and dragging Naomi down the hall and around the corner. Emily was vaguely aware of the girl calling something nasty out to her.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch!" Emily shouted behind her shoulder. The lack of resistance Naomi was showing her was odd, but Emily was grateful for it. By the time they rounded the corner Emily's chest was aching tremendously, but she pushed the thought away as she thrust Naomi through the bathroom door.

Naomi tripped over her own feet and fell against a sink, eliciting a sharp whimper of pain from her slack mouth. Emily's facial features softened and she made a move to tend to Naomi, but quickly halted her progress. After a moment of thought, she pushed Naomi's head up and Emily's face hardened again.

"You're off your fuckin face aren't you? When the fuck did you get drunk?" Naomi's wobbly legs fought to stand her up to face Emily properly, but the task was too hard. Releasing a defeated sigh, Naomi let herself slip to the dirty floor in a heap. Her head rested on the pipes underneath the sink she had been leaning on and she attempted to give Emily a charming smile.

"Oh Ems, don't wor-ray. Cookie and I had jus a weeeee bit of vovka and MDMA before the asshembly. You kna, to make that bet of ours more exclighting!" Naomi reached out to touch Emily's foot, but Emily bent down, gripped onto the collar of Naomi's shirt, and led Naomi back into a standing position. Once there, Emily closed her eyes and slapped Naomi across the face. Emily opened her eyes again and moved one hand to Naomi's hip to keep her from sliding down the wall. The other hand lightly clenched Naomi's jaw to force the blond to look at Emily.

"You need to stop fuckin doing this to…yourself. Maybe none of the others care if you throw your life away. Or maybe they do care, but your train wreck is too fuckin entertaining to them to stop it. I don't know. But I can't see you like this anymore Naomi. I remember when we were twelve and you saved me. Well now I want to save you. Do you remember that? Do you Naomi? Or are you too fucked up?" Emily's voice was bitter and it made Naomi afraid to respond.

"I-I'm too fucked up." The redhead sighed and momentarily rested her forehead upon Naomi's. Emily relinquished her grip on Naomi's jaw and let that hand fall to Naomi's shoulder. When Emily pushed back enough to look into the blond's eyes again, Naomi held Emily's gaze on her own and the redhead spoke softly this time.

"I ran away from home and went to the park a few blocks down the street. I was sick of Katie always picking on me and my own fuckin parents not doing anything about it." Emily took a deep breath to calm her nerves. Naomi blinked her eyes rapidly a few times and shook her head slightly. She could feel the haze of her drunken stupor starting to wear off a bit.

"I remember shivering so bad, hoping nobody would come bother me while I froze to death. Of course that's when Cook came and that little wanker was already smoking a spliff. I still don't know what he was trying to chat me up about, but I'm sure it was something dirty." At this, Naomi gave a small chuckle and relaxed into Emily's hands holding her up.

"He wanted you to show him your tits."

"What? I didn't even have tits yet." The pair sniggered for a handful of moments before Emily cleared her throat to finish her story.

"I was so scared. I was fuckin paralyzed on that swing. And then you showed up like some superhero to save the day. Or…a knight to rescue the damsel. You punched Cook in the nose and walked me home. I thought you were the coolest thing to walk this Earth." Emily grinned when she detected an almost unnoticeable blush nestle into Naomi's cheeks.

"Now do you remember Naomi? We were best fuckin friends for two years. Glued to the hip and all that shit." Naomi nudged her hips into Emily's and smiled.

"Yeah, I think I remember all that." Emily let a ghost of a smile escape the corners of her lips, but then immediately lowered her head. She whispered something and even in the close proximity that they shared, Naomi was strained to hear it.

_*Don't you be a traffic light_

_Don't you be a traffic light_

_With all things said you turn to red_

_Don't you be a traffic light_

"Then tell me, what happened? Why are we so distant now? It's like I hardly know you most of the time." Naomi opened and closed her mouth silently a couple of times in a row, much like a fish gasping for its life. Before any real words could find their way out to freedom, the bell rung in the hallways. Emily had missed the last half of history class. Naomi, well Naomi didn't even know what class she was supposed to have showed up for.

Any second now the bathroom would be invaded by mobs of girls.

Mobs of girls. That's what Naomi was supposed to show up for. She had a bet to attend to.

Naomi pushed herself off the wall and made an attempt to take her hands off Emily's waist. But the moment Naomi looked down into Emily's eyes she saw a tear threatening to break through Emily's closed eyelids. Without any hesitation, Naomi scooped Emily into her arms and smiled lazily when she felt Emily's hands grip onto the back of her shoulders. When Naomi pulled away from Emily, she swiftly planted a light kiss under Emily's eye to wipe away the lone tear that did manage to begin gliding down Emily's rosy left cheek.

"Alright little bird, let's get out of here. What do you have next?" Emily released herself from Naomi and followed her out of the bathroom. She led the blond back in the direction of her history class where she needed to pick up her things. Naomi had obviously avoided answering Emily's question, but the redhead had no choice, but to let it go.

For now anyways.

"Hmm, let me think." Emily tilted her head up toward the ceiling and let her mouth fall ajar.

"Politics." Naomi tugged at her bottom lip with her teeth. She had the sneaking suspicion that she had politics next too. At least that's what she thought since Effy found her just after getting drunk and high with Cook. Effy had seemed quite keen on urging Naomi to shape up for their politics class with Emily later. That didn't stop Effy from taking a dose of MDMA however.

_*Oh, now, baby_

_Don't misread the signs_

_If you turn the key_

_Then things will turn out fine_

Mobs of girls. Those luscious mobs of girls. And that luscious bet.

It would all have to wait. Naomi would probably have to lose.

For Emily.

Just this once of course.

And earlier when Emily convinced Naomi to not cross the street for that woman.

But this is the last time.

"You know, I think I have Politics too. Care if I walk with you?" The pair had retrieved Emily's backpack and now stood aimlessly in the busy hallway. The redhead eyed up Naomi in a very confused manner.

"You mean, you're actually going to go to class? Well fuck me." A boy walking by whistled and asked Emily when and where. Before Emily could think of something snide to respond with, Naomi snaked her arm around Emily's shoulders.

"Sorry mate, I saw her first." The redhead's cheeks instantly matched the color of her hair and she hid her face from Naomi's knowing smirk.

"Yeah little bird, I'll go to class. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Naomi started to walk down the hall, but Emily deftly turned them around to walk in the appropriate direction to Politics.

"Naomi, did you even bring any pencils or anything today?"

"Of course not."

* * *

_*"Traffic Light"-The Ting Tings_

_You still better review! Please. It will keep my monster self in check._


	4. If They Can't Handle It

_A/N: Ok here's part two of my redemption. Again I'm keeping things pretty sweet right now. Guess I'm just in that sort of mood or something. _

If They Can't Handle It…

Naomi and Emily finally managed to make their way to Politics class even though Naomi swore it was taking place at Emily's house today. When the duo walked through the classroom doors, they were met with many recognizable faces. Katie sat near the front by Freddie, trying in vain to get this attention with random bursts of giggling and hair tosses. JJ was next to the window overlooking the grounds outside. He was muttering under his breath and looked to be locked onto something quite heavily. In the row of desks closest to the door, Pandora was happily chirping away about a boy she met in her last class, Thomas. Effy appeared to actually be listening intently to Pandora, but broke her concentration to throw a smile Naomi and Emily's way. The redhead and blond shyly averted their eyes from Effy's smile and ran to claim a pair of empty desks in the far back corner of the room.

As soon as class started it became apparent that the professor, Kieran, didn't want to be there just as well as his students.

"Alright, well, I'm gonna start us off with an announcement and, uh, that's about as far as we're gonna get today. So, I've been told by my "superiors" to extend a useless opportunity to the no doubt geniuses that make up all of my politics classes. We're looking for a college president who will surely lead our youth out of their "wicked" habits and ensure the college ends up ruling the world. For today's class time you simply have to decide if you are willing and capable of pulling off the incredibly "important" task of being the college's president. By the end of the hour, if you have found yourself worthy, come write your name down on the board. As you can see, no one has put their name on the board yet. Now get to work and when the bell rings, get the fuck outta my room, quickly."

Kieran sat back down at his desk and seemed to think it was a good time to nod off for a nap. The students remained quiet for a few minutes before realizing that none of this was a joke. Slowly groups of friends amassed around each other and began socializing. Naomi and Emily shrugged at each other and then moved to meet the others at their focal point around Effy and Pandora. Emily took up an empty desk next to Pandora and Freddie while Naomi sat atop Emily's desk.

_*You been a juvenile_

_With a dolphin smile_

_With no elbow room_

_With your body in bloom_

_You've had your little backyard_

_Protected by big walls_

_You didn't dare look over_

'_Cause you've been too small_

"Well I'm certainly not going to run for college president. I know far too well just how many presidents have been killed throughout history, so I'll either be murdered or just lose the election and then my mum will…"

"Yeah, I'm not running either JJ. You make some good points my friend." Freddie clasped JJ on the shoulder and grinned widely to calm him down. JJ nodded understandingly and raised an eyebrow to Pandora.

"What about you Pandora? You seem like you could handle giving plenty of speeches and learning about everyone's problems." Pandora shook her head vigorously in the negative.

"That would be whizzer! But I'm useless, so I better not doom our college with my leadership." Pandora turned to face Effy, but the brunette instantly shook her head no.

"Well I know I shouldn't run for president 'cause, you know, I'd make the best president ever and no one could ever follow in my footsteps. I could probably get loads of funding and shit for the college, but after I left it would all go to hell." No one took Katie's musings seriously.

"What about you Ems? I think you could actually make a really good voice of the people yeah?" Freddie nudged his elbow into Emily's playfully and she blushed faintly. She looked up to see all, but one nodding their approval of Freddie's assessment.

"I guess that would be kinda fun…"

_*You're only sixteen_

_Try to cross the line_

_But your little wings are intertwined_

_You're only sixteen_

_And you're such a tease_

_And there's nothing you do_

_That can really please_

"Oh no, there's no fucking way Emily could be president of the college. She's stupid and a loser and isn't pretty enough." Katie blurted out and then glared at Naomi to see if there would be a rematch from this morning. Before Naomi had a chance to defend Emily's honor, however, there was a large amount of commotion near the window JJ sat by earlier. The group of friends scooted closer to see what was going on, but JJ stayed back.

"He's like a rabbit or a bonobo!" JJ anxiously whispered to himself.

"Ah, uh, oh yeah. Grab my balls. Grab my balls. Fuck." All of the students in the room were caught in hysterics at watching Cook's performance with a dirty blond haired girl one story below the classroom's window. Naomi laughed at Katie's gagging motions, but suddenly stood erect and serious. She bolted over to Kieran and patted him on the head to awake him.

"Hey mate, is a James Cook on the class roster?" The professor grumbled sleepily while he rifled through some papers before shaking his head in the affirmative. Naomi grinned and pushed her way through her classmates giggling, useless bodies to stick her head out the window.

"Oy Cook. Cookie! Do you wanna be in the election for college president? I'll be your competition." Cook mumbled something to the girl he was with and watched her form for a moment as she walked away. He then straightened his clothing slightly and spun around to squint up at Naomi leaning above him.

"Make anotha bet of it? Then sign me up Naomikins!" Naomi blew Cook a kiss and he sighed loudly then fell in the grass. Once again Naomi raced back over to Kieran, but this time she took one of his markers and wrote "Naomi" and "Cook" on the whiteboard.

Gradually everyone in the room started taking notice of the names on the board and pondered over the two candidates. Kieran stood up to address the class as the bell rang.

"Well unfortunately those are the only two who signed up outta all my classes, so that's who you have to choose from. The results will be announced at the end of class on Friday, so turn your ballots into me before then. Now get the fuck outta here."

* * *

"So you are gonna walk her home huh? You better not touch her, bitch."

"Shut the fuck up and go get pregnant Katie." Naomi and Katie flicked each other off while Katie drove away with some grown man, not the one from this morning. Emily touched Naomi's hand lightly to distract the blond from staring at the speeding car. They waved to Pandora and Effy riding their bikes past them and then the pair set off on their walk to Emily's house. Almost immediately the redhead began her interrogation of Naomi as well.

"Naomi, why in fuck did you sign up Cook for college president?" Emily's voice was supposed to sound like a whine, but it still was rather husky.

"He's got just as much a right to run as anyone else. 'Sides I had to have someone to compete against. Of course Kieran might allow one more entry if you wanna get in on it." Naomi wiggled her arm through Emily's and shot the redhead pleading eyes.

"I can't Naomi! No one would vote for me over you or Cook anyways." Emily sounded defeated and watched her feet shuffle across the pavement.

"Emily you're the one who should win. You've got great ideas about how things should be done and you care about people. But if you don't think our mates can handle you being their empress then they don't deserve to have you govern their asses." Naomi leaned into Emily's side and let her breath flit over Emily's ear.

"I, on the other hand, would let you rule over me any day. Or under me, if you prefer." The blond moaned into Emily's ear and gave the lobe a gentle lick with her tongue. Tremors rode chariots of fire throughout Emily's body.

These tortures were unbearably cruel of Naomi. Emily knew her friend surely couldn't mean the things she said or did to the redhead. But if Naomi did mean them, then why on Earth wasn't she acting on them like she would have with any other random fucking girl?

"Well I just want you to know that I will be placing my ballot for you. Frankly I fear for the college no matter which one of you wins the election, but at least you think with your brain on occasion." Emily smiled as she said this and poked Naomi in the gut. The blond feigned a look of anguish and tried to lay an assault of tickles on Emily's side. The redhead squealed and leapt away from Naomi just in time. Conveniently they had already arrived at Emily's house and the redhead dashed for the door. She threw herself inside and locked the door behind her before Naomi could crash through. The blond took a few deep breaths and sadly squeezed her eyes closed.

She wasn't ready to say goodbye to her little bird for the day. She had missed spending time with the adorable redhead more than she realized.

After a moment of silence passed, Naomi reluctantly began to turn around to finish her walk home. She took one step and found herself smashing face first into the concrete.

Emily nearly ripped the door off its hinges to escort Naomi into her house. As they struggled up the stairs to the bathroom, Naomi clutching her bloody nose, she noticed what made her trip outside.

That bitch Emily had stuck her hands through the cat flap and tied Naomi's shoe laces together.

Luckily no one else was home to shout about the raucous the girls were making while they stomped around the house and barged into the messy bathroom next to the twins' bedroom.

Emily guided Naomi to sit on the lid of the toilet while the redhead grabbed a rag and plunged it in the water she filled the sink with. Gently, lovingly, Emily applied pressure to Naomi's nose until the bleeding stopped.

"You just wait until I get my payback for this birdie." Naomi winced as Emily lightly wiped the remaining blood off her face.

_**And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat_

_I tried to find the sound_

_But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness_

_So darkness I became_

"I am so fuckin sorry Naomi. I guess…I don't know. I guess I just didn't want you to go yet." Naomi watched Emily intensely as the redhead wrung out the rag and sighed. Emily let it slip back into the sink as she gripped onto the counter and hung her head.

Naomi knew Emily was on the verge of tears.

Without thinking, Naomi sprung onto her feet and twirled Emily around to face her. The redhead looked shocked at first, but that was soon replaced with a much different emotion when she felt Naomi press their bodies together. Emily closed her eyes and braced herself for what she hoped was coming next.

She would have had to wait forever, for she was met with nothing.

Slowly Emily opened her eyes again and did see Naomi mere centimeters away from her. The blond's lips quivered and her eyes begged for forgiveness that she knew she did not deserve.

"I have to go." Emily tried to grasp onto Naomi like she was the last life preserver on a sinking ship, but Naomi squirmed away and fled from the house.

Emily was drowning.

But when she heard the front door slam shut she felt a tidal wave of anger swoop up and wash over her. It swelled in her chest, broke through her shoulder, flowed down her arm, and made her fist strike out at the bathroom wall.

Instant bolts of searing pain cascaded back up her hand and Emily fell to her knees on the cold tiled floor. Tear droplets sprinkled down her face and splashed onto her legs like ocean mist scattering the remains of her broken heart.

She hated liking Naomi. No, she hated loving Naomi.

But the awful truth was Emily knew there was no turning back.

_**The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out_

_You left me in the dark_

_No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight_

_In the shadow of your heart_

_

* * *

_

_*"Sixteen"- No Doubt_

_**"Cosmic Love"- Florence and the Machine_

_Keep reviewing por favor. I'm thinking I can whip out one more chapter tonight. Exciting!_


	5. Killing Your Chances Of Victory

_A/N: I'm on a roll right now, so even though it's late in the night where I am, I'm trying to keep the momentum going. Hopefully I'm not sacrificing any story quality though. _

Killing Your Chances Of Victory

The school week passed by rather quickly and yet not in the good way. Neither Naomi nor Emily seemed to be able or willing to confront the other. In fact, Emily worried that after one gleaming day of possibilities, Naomi was lost to her again. While Naomi did appear to at least slow her rate of bedding nearly every girl in college, she was spotted everywhere with Cook.

Emily didn't necessarily think Cook was a horrible person, but he certainly was a horrible influence on Naomi.

Over the course of the last few days, the blond rarely was sober in any meaning of the word. Emily wanted to slap Naomi around again, but that approach obviously didn't work. So for the time being, Emily thought it best to let Naomi alone.

Instead, Emily was spending time with Freddie, JJ, Effy, Pandora, and the new boy Thomas. Pandora and Thomas fit each other so well and it made Emily's heart fill with joy for them.

Fill with joy believing love could win after all.

On Wednesday Freddie tried to convince Emily to go on a date with JJ. At first Emily almost agreed until she realized it was meant to be a proper date and not just something to lift JJ's spirits.

Emily had to explain to Freddie that she was for sure gay and…

"I already kinda fancy someone Freds." She didn't blush when she admitted this. Her eyes just burned with resentful tears. Freddie cooed and wrapped his arms around Emily.

"You mean Naomi right? Look Ems, Effy and I have known you've liked her for years, but, well…Naomi's a bitch."

"Freddie, don't say that about her!" Emily fought to pull away from Freddie, but he softly kept her in his arms.

"I'm sorry. What I mean is she's not the one for you Emily. You're kind and smart and want to be loved. Naomi just wants to shag and then get trashed enough to forget that she already shagged, so she starts the process again." Emily wanted to protest, but she also knew Freddie was right.

"Freds, I know none of you see it, but Naomi is my savior. I don't know what's fuckin happened to her, but-but I need to be her savior now. I think if I could just reach her, like really fuckin get to her, that she would love me back. We could be great together, like Thomas and Pandora." Freddie sighed and held onto Emily for another minute. He finally let her go and kept her at arm's length while staring her down for a beat.

"If that's what you really want then know that we're all here for you."

"Thanks Freds. Now, uh, do you think we can leave the boys bathroom?" Emily and Freddie watched a terrified young man run out of the only stall in the bathroom with his pants still around his thighs.

* * *

Naomi was torn apart by what happened between her and Emily earlier in the week. She had desired to kiss Emily so terribly that her lips tingled with need for hours afterwards. She couldn't decide if it was stupid to leave or if it would have been stupider to stay.

In the end it didn't matter. Emily remained pure and Naomi was still tainted. The blond could live with that. She had no choice.

Of course how Naomi "lived" with something meant she buried herself in drugs and alcohol until she forgot she was living at all. Even then catching glimpses of the redhead throughout the day was like witnessing the glow from a single candle in the fog.

Cook could sense something was wrong with his partner in crime. More like he could tell Naomi was drinking more than her usual share of vodka. She even accepted some beers from women at the bars and clubs the pair went to.

Naomi never drank beer.

"Hey Blondie, you wanna tell Cookie Monster what's got your panties all wound up?" Cook asked while the two shared a spliff on Naomi's couch.

"Nope."

"But…you always tell me. And I always tell you." Cook's voice was tinged with a hint of sadness. Naomi blew the smoke in her lungs out slowly, thoughtfully.

"There's nothing to tell Cookie. Not this time."

"You're speechless huh? Well just know that ol' Cookie Monster is gonna be here for ya Naomikins." Cook carefully stood up, kissed Naomi sloppily on the forehead, and hobbled into Naomi's mum's old room to nap for a few hours.

"By the way Blondie, you still owe me a cake since I won our shag bet."

Gina entrusted Naomi with the house over the summer while Gina went on a spiritual expedition with some friends. For how long this expedition would take, no one knew. Naturally Cook moved in with Naomi to keep her company and so he could for once have a stable living situation.

Naomi loved having him around, since they were best friends and all. But there was someone who secretly she preferred to keep with her even more than Cook.

* * *

On Thursday Kieran had another one of his charming announcements for his last politics class of the day.

"Listen up you little pricks! I've been told that your college president candidates must choose a running mate. This is, of course, in case the president dies suddenly from a gunshot wound, or, you know, drug overdose or something. Luckily I've only received three ballots out of fifty so far. Now, I want Naomi and Cook to get up here and present their choice of a running mate." Amazingly Naomi and Cook were both fairly stable today. Aside from a couple shots of tequila and a spliff this morning, the two were going to use today as a day of rest.

So to speak.

The election race between the two was very close and probably why most people were waiting to cast their vote until tomorrow. All around college, posters espousing the beliefs of each candidate littered walls, lockers, doors, and bathroom ceilings.

Cook promised to throw a party every morning before college began and paint the building to look like a giant open mouth.

Naomi vowed to replace the water fountains with vodka fountains and give everyone a pet tortoise named Kat.

Today's choice of running mate would surely determine who would emerge victorious.

_*I've seen people losing all of their faith_

_Before they knew what they were looking for_

_I swore I'd never ever do it again, 'til this day_

_Words are all I have, to give, to you_

_You never seem to see it my way_

_Standing in the shadows I hear, people say_

_I got confessions to make, listen up!_

_No one sleeps when I'm awake_

Cook cleared his voice first and the class fell silent to hear his judgment.

"I choose Effy Stonem as my running mate. And she will personally attend to all of your earthly desires." All eyes turned upon Effy. The brunette looked around studying each and every body in the room. After a moment, she simply shrugged her shoulders and nodded in agreement.

Cheers erupted throughout the classroom and Kieran had to string together an impressive list of swear words to quiet the students down.

It was now Naomi's decision. Cook's brow broke out into a small sweat. He knew she was capable of coming up with sneaky ways to beat him in these kinds of circumstances.

Naomi surveyed the crowd before her. The air was tense. Her fingers twitched from time to time. Cook had thrown in his best and there was only one thing Naomi had left to do.

She set her gaze upon one cherished face in the sea of static.

"I choose Emily Fitch. She will personally attend to every concern and opinion you have on making a better environment for our college's student body to thrive." Emily blinked her eyes rapidly a few times. Surely she was dreaming. And yet everyone was staring at her intently. Hesitantly, she shook her head yes.

A single whistle of approval sounded from the room. The boy trapped in the bathroom yesterday.

_*The dreams I dream the song I sing for you_

_They're coming from my heart_

_Is my message getting through?_

_You know it hurts so bad just like I knew that it would_

_But I'd do it again, do it again if I could_

The bell dismissed everyone then and Emily desperately fought to catch Naomi before she left the room. Once Emily made it to Kieran's desk, however, Naomi and Cook were gone.

The redhead nearly ran to make it outside the college, hoping to at least get there before Naomi could. Emily waited for minutes; bobbing up and down to spot that bleach blond head. Eventually the last students emerged from college and it appeared that Emily had missed Naomi entirely. Emily groaned disapprovingly and began to walk home alone. She lifted her head to blow some stray strands of hair out of her eyes, but stopped dead in her tracks.

Naomi leaned against a tree a block away, concentrating very hard on Emily.

The redhead willed her legs not to break into a mad dash for the beautiful blond and instead walked at a, fairly, steady pace.

"You know you threw away your chances of winning that election when you chose me." Emily stated bluntly as soon as she reached Naomi. The blond smiled curiously back.

"What makes you think I wanted to win in the first place?" Emily snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Naomi giggled good-naturedly.

"Hey come on, I'm only jokin. Look, there's no one else I would have rather ran with and that's the tits truth." Naomi wore an extremely serious face and Emily tried to glare it away, but ended up laughing.

There were no more words exchanged the rest of the way to Emily's house. Naomi did make it a point to casually swipe her fingers down the palm of Emily's hand or nudge their shoulders together. The redhead didn't rebel against these small actions.

By the time they found their way to Emily's front steps, Naomi had a tiny smile permanently plastered across her face. It brought back a familiar prickling feeling of a blush paint Emily's cheeks.

"I would invite you in but…" Emily let her sentence trail off there and Naomi quickly interjected with her own thoughts.

"Emily, I'm sorry about before."

"I know." The two young women peered into each other's eyes. They saw things there: hopes and fears, dreams and nightmares, loves and hates. A porthole was opened to reveal a little piece of each girl's soul.

Emily tensed. She could see her mum's car coming down the street. Naomi followed Emily's gaze and saw the car as well.

"Well, goodbye little bird. We shall see if we're in line to take over the world tomorrow." With that, Naomi saluted to Emily and started walking the remaining blocks home.

* * *

By the end of politics class on Friday, the entire room was in a state of anarchy. After everyone handed in their ballot for college president, Kieran informed them that his "superiors" decided to cancel the election.

They were worried that either candidate's victory would incite a rebellion. Currently, a rebellion was forming over Kieran's announcement.

Amongst the screaming and thrown objects, Naomi had managed to stuff the small box of ballots into a backpack she found ripped on the floor. She struggled to find Emily in the chaos, but saw the redhead was being looked after by Freddie and, surprisingly, Katie. Stealthily the blond slipped out the classroom door and briskly jogged to the store.

_**How neat, I'm impressed_

_How did you come to be so blessed?_

_You're a star, you blaze_

_Out like a sharp machine_

_Like a whale's moan_

_Well I'm here if that's what you want_

A little less than an hour later, Cook plowed his way through the door to Naomi's house. He had a bleeding cut on his lower lip and a large hole in his shirt.

Naturally he seemed quite pleased about this.

"Naomikins, where'd you go? I don't rememba seein you beat the shit outta anybody." Cook flopped onto the couch next to Naomi. She had the white ballot box on the table in front of her and a stack of squares of paper next to it.

"I left. I went to the store to pick up the kind of paper Kieran gave everyone to write their vote on. I'm gonna make it seem like Emily and I won and show it to her. Give her something good to believe in you know? But, to be sure, you and Eff did win." Cook grinned wide and howled, kicking his left foot while he did so.

"Well fuck Naomikins, that cake better be a proper black forest gateau." Naomi smiled and shook her head. Cook did deserve a nice cake at the very least. Although she might need a bit of help when the time came.

Naomi scooped up the first piece of paper and began writing her's and Emily's names down, careful to not make it look like her own handwriting. Cook watched Naomi as if in a daze for a number of moments.

"Do…you want me to help ya?" Naomi cocked her head at Cook questioningly then gave him a peck on the cheek. He adopted a crooked smile, found a pen in the other room, and sat back down to help Naomi defeat him.

_**Here we are, you're pins I'm needles, let's play_

_Here we are, you want this? Then come on_

_Tune out everyone in the crowd because now it's just me and you_

_Come fall in love with the sound_

_Make a pact to each other when no one's around_

_Put the cross between me and you_

_Who wants to fuck with us now?_

_

* * *

_

Rob Fitch answered his front door and found Naomi Campbell, not the famous one, smiling to greet him. It had been awhile since she gave a proper visit to his house. He gladly invited her in and directed her to Emily upstairs in her room. The other family members were out shopping.

Naomi knocked cautiously on Emily's bedroom door. The redhead opened it fast enough to believe she had been standing next to it waiting for Naomi all along.

"Hey little bird, can I come in?" Emily nodded happily and stepped back for Naomi to enter. The blond bounced onto Emily's bed and set the box on her lap. The redhead closed her door and sat next to Naomi timidly.

Emily was already wearing her short pajama shorts and a somewhat skimpy tank top.

"Emily I had to come over and show you something. After all hell broke loose in politics today, I kinda sorta snatched the ballot box off Kieran's desk." Naomi rattled the white box in her hands to emphasize. Emily's left eyebrow twitched in amusement.

"And before you even think about scolding me, I did it 'cause I want you to read the votes with me." Naomi scooted the box over to rest between the two girls on the bed. Emily looked from the box to Naomi a few times before picking it up.

"Well, what are we waiting for then?" Naomi burst into a huge smile and let Emily shake out all of the ballots.

It didn't go unnoticed by Naomi that Emily had discarded her bra already as well.

Once all the slips of paper were splayed out on the bed, Emily grabbed a notebook and pencil to record the votes. Greedily they tore through the scribbled ballots and tallied up the resulting score.

Emily stared up at Naomi, wide-eyed and looked fit to start bouncing up and down on the bed.

Naomi would not have stopped her.

"Naomi…Naomi we won! 36 to 14! We did it!" Emily tossed the notebook on the floor and pushed Naomi back onto the bed as she squeezed her tightly and giggled into her neck.

A pang of anxiety and guilt welled up in Naomi. Not because she lied to Emily, but because the only time Naomi was in another girl's bed was to shag her.

But Emily was too excited in this moment. There was no fucking way Naomi was going to ruin this for her little bird.

Nonetheless, Emily could feel Naomi's muscles clench slightly under her body pressure and so the redhead pulled back a bit.

"Emily, I need your help." Fearing the worst, Emily expected Naomi to banish her from her own room or request to never see or speak to her again. In an audibly shaking voice, Emily whispered back.

"What is it?"

"I need help making a superb black forest gateau."

* * *

_*"No One Sleeps When I'm Awake"- The Sounds_

_**"Needles And Pins"- The Deftones_

_Three chapters in one night; I need to sleep. But you, you should review._


	6. Vanilla And Cherry

_A/N: So I want to give an enormous thank you to everyone who has taken the time to give me a review. I've noticed there are some of you who review almost every chapter (you're being added to my will.) Reading what all of you have to say brings a huge smile to my face and urges me to write even when I just want to be a bum. _

Vanilla And Cherry

Leave it to Emily's dad to ruin a good thing. After the redhead thoroughly crushed Naomi with hugs in the bed, giving both girls red faces and panting breaths, Rob walked in unannounced. Naomi awkwardly leapt out from under Emily and swore they had just been having a wrestling match.

Rob Fitch believed this. In fact, he was quite impressed that his daughter seemed to be the victorious one.

Emily begged for her dad to let Naomi be on her way, but he instead insisted that she stay and watch a film with them. He missed having Naomi around the house like in the good old days when he found his daughter and her friend baking sweets in the kitchen or playing in the pool in the backyard.

Emily was further flabbergasted when Naomi cheerfully agreed to stay for a bit. Reluctantly the redhead shooed the two out of her room, so she could change into something slightly more appropriate.

Ten minutes later Emily emerged from her room and followed the sounds of laughter down into the living room.

Rob and Naomi sat on the couch, drinking a protein shake Rob had made for them, and catching up on each other's lives. Rob told the blond everything about the success of his gym franchise while Naomi mostly stuck to her mum's antics before she left the country.

"Um, excuse me. I thought we were gonna watch a film?" Emily frowned when Naomi handed her a glass of protein shake as the redhead sat next to her.

"Oh yes we are! Naoms and I picked this one out while we waited for you." Rob proudly held up the DVD case for Emily to examine. Her mouth fell open.

"You have got to be fuckin kidding me."

"Heeeey, watch your language Emsy."

"Yeah, watch that mouth of yours little bird." Naomi grinned evilly at Emily when the film started up.

A live recording of Cher in concert. The video was taken by Emily's own parents a few years back.

For over half an hour Emily had to endure her dad and Naomi dancing from room to room in the house singing along to the poorly recorded voice of Cher. At times Naomi would try to lift Emily up to dance with her.

Every attempt Naomi made, Emily smiled and rose to dance around with her.

And after a few moments of every attempt, Rob boyishly hopped among them. Emily would always become too embarrassed and find her way back to the couch.

Finally Naomi and Mr. Fitch lost their energy and uselessly fell against either side of Emily.

"Alright…well…I think…that's…enough for me. Thanks…for letting me over." Naomi huffed as she made her way to the front door. Rob and Emily followed closely behind Naomi.

"Are you sure you don't want us to walk you home? It's pretty dark out there now Naoms."

"No, I'm fine Mr. Fitch. Can I still expect to see you tomorrow little bird? You know, for help with that…project." Naomi winked at the redhead and reveled at the blush that she could almost always elicit from Emily.

"Yeah yeah. Come over 'round noon k?" The blond nodded and waved goodbye to the Fitches.

"Well I gotta say Ems, it sure is nice to have that one around again." Rob patted Emily on the shoulder before heading out to his personal gym in the garage.

"I think so too."

* * *

It was a little past midnight by the time Naomi got home. Cook wasn't there; no doubt he was at a party or club somewhere. For a split second Naomi got jealous of Cook and angry that she missed the chance to go with him. But as the blond threw herself down against her bed and stared up at the ceiling, her anger and jealousy quickly subsided.

Her night with Emily had been far better than any club scene. The feelings she entertained when she was with Emily were special things indeed.

Things Naomi thought she had lost.

Things Naomi thought she didn't deserve.

Emily had the power to make everything better again. Like a mother kissing the scraped knee of her child. Naomi felt brave and strong with Emily at her side. Naomi felt happy.

Naomi felt…loved.

_*Lost in your arms_

_There goes my freedom_

_Never thought that I, could ache so_

_Much for someone_

_Avoiding your eyes, feeling I'm left_

_With no disguise_

_Please rewind_

'_Cause I fear that I'm falling_

Naomi shot up in bed and glared at her reflection in her mirror.

What the fuck was she thinking? As nice as this all felt right now, she couldn't do this with Emily. Emily represented everything good and just in Naomi's world and Naomi…well Naomi represented all the fucked shit that good and just people should leave hidden in an alleyway. Naomi despised the decisions she made years ago that put her in this position now. But she had made her bed and now it was time to lie in it, alone.

Naomi could not let her…her love of Emily be revealed. Emily would suffer at first, yes, and the thought of being the cause of that pain made Naomi want to rip her own heart out and stab it to shreds. But it would be for the best in the end. Emily would be able to find another good and just woman and Naomi would stay in the shadows of the alleyway.

Not deserving of love. Not deserving of Emily Fitch.

Naomi could hear a loud disturbance downstairs. Before fear and anxiety could grip her chest, she heard Cook's voice.

Along with the voices of women.

The blond freed herself from her mental tortures and went to investigate the spoils that Cook brought her.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Naomi was greeted by the sight of Cook pinning a girl down on the couch and taking her clothes off with his teeth. Even her lusty giggling sounded drunk and Naomi couldn't help, but snort at that. Cook heard this and raised his head to see over the top of the couch.

"Blondie, ayyyyyyye! Look, babe, I found you a sterling set of tits! I think she went to the kitchen, but listen she's flyin on some pills so I'm thinkin she'll do anything you want her to yeah." Cook winked at Naomi and waited to hear if she approved, even going so far as to shush the writhing girl beneath him.

Naomi told herself that this moment would determine everything. Would she be filth that could only harm Emily in the long-run? Or was there a chance that her little bird could still save her?

_*And I don't wanna fall in love_

_No I don't wanna trust_

_Anyone that makes me_

_Wake up smiling_

_And makes me blind_

The girl from the kitchen slunk into the living room just then. Her blond hair somewhat resembled Naomi's own and she smiled cheekily at Naomi. Slowly, she sauntered over to Naomi and wasted no time in attacking Naomi's neck with sloppy kisses.

"Take me to bed will ya?" Inwardly Naomi cringed, but on the outside…she sternly nodded yes. She wrapped an arm around the girl and led her to Cook's room.

The only person who could ever find a reservation in Naomi's own bed was the only person who would never get the chance.

Standing in the doorway of the room, watching the high girl struggle to get undressed, Naomi hated herself more than she thought possible. Her only comfort was repeating that this was the right thing to do. It had to be. After all, doing the right thing was always the hardest thing to do right?

This betrayal was definitely the hardest thing Naomi had ever done.

* * *

Today was the day Naomi came over to make cake and Emily was dead tired. She couldn't find one wink of sleep last night, much to Katie's displeasure. Emily had too many…exciting scenarios rushing through her mind. The elder twin swore in hushed voices to her younger all through the night.

This morning Katie was willing to help Emily convince the family that they all should go out for lunch and let Emily and Naomi work in peace.

Katie did make it very clear to Emily, in private, that she was only doing this because she didn't want to see the two girls lezzing it up around the house. Regardless, Emily gave her sister a quick and awkward hug.

Now Emily sat on the kitchen counter, nervously twirling the end of her dress and waiting for the doorbell to ring.

She didn't have to wait long.

Just one minute after twelve, Naomi was being let into the Fitch house. Emily couldn't contain herself and as soon as she closed the door behind Naomi, she threw herself against the blond. Naomi stumbled back a bit, but caught Emily and held her hug for a moment. Emily pulled back quickly and hitched an eyebrow at Naomi.

"So I guess you're fuckin happy to see me." Naomi frowned in confusion, mixed with a bit of sadness. Before Emily could process what the sadness might be about, Naomi perked up in understanding. She rummaged through her bag, which had been pressing between the two girls' intimate parts while they hugged, and revealed a bottle of vodka.

"Sorry little bird, I'm not happy enough to grow one ah them slimy things. Nope, this is just for the gateau." Emily mocked disappointment and led Naomi to the kitchen. While they walked, Naomi explained to Emily that she would have to leave as soon as the cake was finished. She mentioned something about a party knowing that Emily would not try to hinder her from going to a party nor follow her there.

"Holy shit Emily, this is great! I would be fucked if I had to do this by myself." Naomi's eyes went wide when she entered the Fitch kitchen and saw Emily had already arranged all of the ingredients in order of consumption on the table. The redhead blushed deeply and showed Naomi the recipe she had found.

"This is supposed to be from some fuckin famous chef, so it should be good. Look, Naomi, I don't like Cook that much, but you do. If you want to make him happy, then I want to help you make him happy." Emily smiled shyly and Naomi wanted to cry for the redhead and kiss her at the same time. Neither course of action was taken as Naomi simply grinned at Emily instead.

"I don't really give a fuck about makin that tosser happy, I just owe him this." With that distinction clearly made, the pair got to work.

First the multiple layers of chocolate cake had to be made. Emily read off the items needed: sugar, butter, flour, eggs, cocoa. Stir it all up and bake it. That sounded easy enough.

Except Naomi lost a whole eggshell in the mix and didn't tell Emily about it, ate half of the necessary cocoa when Emily wasn't looking, and accidently inhaled some of the sugar and told Emily she just had a cough.

The redhead wanted to taste the batter before they stuck it in the oven. Naomi's face paled.

"It…tastes…a bit like shit." Emily smacked her lips quietly, but shrugged and started the baking process nonetheless. Naomi sighed in relief.

While they waited for the three cake layers to be ready, the duo began work on the filling and icing. These two things truly should have been very easy to prepare.

Emily informed Naomi that all she had to do for the filling was mix cherries and cherry syrup with kirsch and some vodka. The problem was Naomi added far too much vodka and not enough cherries. Some cherries were eaten, by both girls admittedly. While others, well they ended up in Emily's hair.

At times Naomi would sneak up behind Emily and gently push a cherry into the thick of Emily's hair at the back of her head. Finally, Emily couldn't resist a sudden itch she had in her hair and screamed when a large handful of cherries fell from her head. Naomi literally rolled on the floor, over the cherries, in hysterics while Emily frantically swiped her hands through her hair to search for bits of fruit.

Before Naomi became aware of what was unfolding, Emily was on top of her; tickling her all over her body. Unabashedly she searched out sensitive spots across the blond's figure. Naomi was eventually gasping for air through fits of laughter, but the laughing soon stopped.

Emily's eyes darkened and she bit at her lower lip while feeling Naomi squirm beneath her. The blond saw this change in Emily and felt what was coming next, but was powerless to prevent it. A single, raspy moan escaped Naomi's lips, followed immediately by horror filled eyes. Emily was confused and she let Naomi free herself from their positioning.

_**They say that home is where the heart is_

_I guess I haven't found my home_

_And we keep driving round in circles_

_Afraid to call this place our own_

"You know, we, uh, we should make that icing fast. The cake's almost done, you know." Naomi nervously twiddled her fingers over her vest while waiting for Emily's next move.

The redhead wasn't at all sure about what was going on. Naomi was obviously enjoying their…interaction, and yet she pulled away before it could progress. Emily tried to shake the confusion away and nodded silently as she walked over to Naomi by the table.

The girls made the icing without exchanging any words. Naomi properly followed the directions Emily had written out for her. After the girls had spread the filling and icing between each layer of cake, a thought popped into Naomi's head.

"You know little bird, we should have done all this using vanilla and cherries instead of chocolate and cherries." Naomi continued to add dark chocolate shavings over the top of the gateau with Emily. The redhead stared at Naomi before responding.

"And why the fuck would we do that?"

"It could have been like a symbol. Get it, vanilla and cherries, a blond and a redhead…yeah?" Naomi smiled fondly at Emily with her eyebrows knitted up together.

"Ok, but it's too late now." Naomi's face fell.

"Right…of course."

It took an hour and a half to finish that black forest gateau. When it was all said and done, Naomi wasn't sure if she would have been better off attempting it on her own or not. Emily helped her package it in a bakery style box and placed a bow on top. Silently they marched to the front door and Emily waited for Naomi to get her shoes on and juggle the cake and her bag.

Naomi almost let herself leave the Fitch premises without releasing more than a slight wave goodbye to Emily. But something in her chest wouldn't let that happen.

_**They say you're really not somebody_

_Until somebody else loves you_

_Well, I am waiting to make somebody_

_Somebody soon_

"Little bird!" Naomi shouted as she carefully ran back to Emily's front door. The redhead stopped herself from completely closing it and hesitantly opened it fully again.

"Thank you…so much…I…owe you…now." Naomi panted and watched Emily intently. After a moment of stillness, Naomi placed a feathery kiss on Emily's cheek and briskly began walking home.

It was true Emily was tired, so very tired of being jerked around by Naomi. But a hint of a smile still creased the redhead's lips as she let her fingertips flutter over the spot Naomi kissed her.

This thing called love, it played a horrible game with Emily's heart. It challenged every belief she thought she knew to be correct and every idea she was certain had to be wrong. It tore at her senses and reveled in her fight to stay afloat of it all.

And yet when Naomi kissed her, or smiled, or just fucking looked at her, Emily was willing to keep fighting.

* * *

_*"Trapped"- The Horrorpops_

_**"Are We There Yet?"- Ingrid Michaelson_

_You're going to review right?_


	7. To Be A Fool

_A/N: I've been suffering from a bit of a writer's block with this story, but I'm going to try to push past it. You guys deserve no less. Although I can't tell just how much longer I see this story lasting. I shall ponder my possibilities. _

To Be A Fool

Over a month had passed since Naomi and Emily had made Cook's cake. Over a month had passed since Naomi and Emily spent time together as they did that day. Sure the girls smiled and waved to each other in the hallways or made idle chatter when waiting for a class to start, but there was nothing more to them. Freddie and JJ attempted to talk to Emily about things for Naomi's newfound civil and stable behavior was not the only new facet to Naomi Campbell. A week after the cake incident, Naomi consistently began to show up for classes and, though she still partook in her same extracurricular activities with Cook, she waited to do it until after school.

Emily managed to convince everyone that she had a nice, long talk with Naomi to kick her ass into taking life seriously now. While most everyone seemed to take this explanation as truth, and what evidence to the contrary did they have, Effy's strange silent looks told Emily she could not convince all.

Of course Emily knew that she hadn't talk to Naomi at all about shaping up. Apparently Naomi was trying to become a better person all on her own.

But why?

* * *

For the record, Emily Fitch was the most beautiful sight Naomi's eyes could ever lay upon. The blond's chest exploded with painful yet loving heart spasms when she witnessed the redhead laugh or smile.

Naomi was trying very hard lately to make Emily laugh or smile. Naomi was also making lots of internal "for the record" statements about Emily lately.

The blond could no longer deny how much she truly . . . loved Emily Fitch. And what was the point really? Emily made Naomi feel like she wasn't a monster, like she still had a chance at being the Naomi Campbell she could have been before . . . before she lost her way. And now Naomi had admitted it to herself; she wanted to be with Emily.

But first, she had to clean herself up.

The pure hearted redhead deserved the best version of Naomi the blond could grant her, and so Naomi was slowly beginning to work on making that a reality.

The first step was to simply act like a normal person around Emily. That may sound easy enough, but not so when your tendency is to seduce the nearest female into hooking up with you around the corner and then enjoy a spliff to keep from hating yourself. But the power of Emily was not to be underestimated and with each slight grin or happy giggle she rewarded Naomi for her new gentle behavior, it spurred the blond on in her efforts. After a week of diligently honing her sexual control with others around Emily, she was finding a new challenge.

Making sure she didn't try to seduce Emily every minute into hooking up around the corner. Naomi had to be confident she had become a more well-rounded individual before moving onto that stage.

But the soft splotch of pink that tinged Emily's cheeks when Naomi, and Naomi alone, made a dirty joke was enough to make Naomi just take Emily right there and . . .

The second step to Naomi's plan was also fairly simple; actually attend college on a regular and alert basis. Yet again this was not so simple for Naomi to do when every morning she quite literally rolled out of bed and found Cook already urging her to share some shots and MDMA with him. Naomi loved Cook and would do anything for him, which she was very used to doing, but she knew if she were to successfully gain Emily's trust and be in a relationship with her, some things with Cook had to be set straight. And she would get around to that part, eventually.

Tonight found the two friends currently returning home after a round of partying at an underground club. Naomi had shared a spliff with some girl, though the bitch had hogged most of it, and had one shot of vodka. This lack of irresponsible release was a part of Naomi's third step; weening herself off of drugs, women, and alcohol.

Because she still had her wits about her, Naomi was able to pull Cook away before getting into a fight with a very large and smelly man at the club. Naomi was now carefully laying Cook down on the couch and then let herself collapse onto the floor next to him. After a few minutes of panting and then silence passed, Cook slowly stuck his head off to the side and gazed down at Naomi.

"Hey Blondie, ya really do 'ave a thing for da birdie don't ya?" Naomi closed her eyes and smiled briefly. Cook always knew Naomi had feelings for Emily, but she guessed you couldn't really have a "thing" for someone if you never properly showed it.

"Yeah Cookie, I really do."

"Aw well, that's nice. Ya gonna go for 'er then?"

"I'm working on it." Cook sighed and shifted at hearing this and Naomi finally reopened her eyes to look at him questioningly.

"Is that why ya been actin' so fucked?" Cook's voice had softened and Naomi knew it was because he was sad when he said this. Still, a hint of anger flashed across her face.

"Cookie, I've been not fucked lately. I think that's the problem you're havin' with this." Cook appeared to feel a bit of shame, but quickly stiffened up and held his ground.

"So then, ya gonna tell 'er what 'appened to ya? Why ya left 'er like she was dirt?" He hadn't raised his tone, but Naomi could hear the venom dripping off of Cook's words. She wasn't liking where this was going and now she propped herself up on her elbows and glared at him.

"What're ya on about?"

"Why ya cry at night wishin' ya trusted yourself 'nough to share your bed with 'er? Or why ya think she's too good for ya, so you shag some ugly twat's brains out then drink all my fuckin' vodka?"

"I do those things because . . . because I became your fuckin' friend. Because I tried to save you, ya fuckin' tosser!"

"Yeah, yeah, tell 'er it's all my fault. I did it to ya on purpose." Cook fell back onto the couch, deflated and too tired to continue yelling. No, he didn't want to yell anymore. Not at Naomi.

But the blond wasted little time in raising herself all the way up into a sitting position and burned disbelieving eyes into the side of Cook's face.

"Did you? Did you do this to me on purpose? Did you really just . . . let this happen?" Cook tried to ignore Naomi's questions, but he couldn't. He could never ignore Naomi no matter how hard he tried. He hesitantly let his head fall to the side to peer over at Naomi and fell into recounting the memory of the start of their friendship.

* * *

_It began when they were almost fourteen; nearly two years after Cook harassed Emily on the playground. Naomi had swooped in and "saved" Emily, making the two inseparable from that moment on. Cook was extremely jealous of Emily. Naomi was his first crush and he wanted to spend all of his time with her. He tried to flock around them and show off like he did to the other girls, but it never seemed to make a difference to Naomi. _

_She was always so faithful to her Emily._

_By accident one day Naomi caught Cook getting drunk outside of his uncle's pub off of alcohol his uncle slipped him. _

_Cook panicked._

_Everyone knew he was already smoking and drinking, but he tried to keep it hidden from Naomi. She seemed too good of a person and he feared she would never like him if she saw him doing those things. _

_To his surprise Naomi did start to, very slowly at first, break away from Emily, so that she could see Cook. She did, however, make it very clear to him, when he attempted to make a move on her one day, that she was only doing this to help him. She didn't want to see him throw his life away, so she was determined to try to be his friend and save him._

_By the time they had turned fourteen, Naomi had split her time equally between Cook and Emily. He gave up on trying to be with Naomi when she started hinting at her deep fondness of Emily. He sympathized with his friend and her fear of Emily's possible rejection. A part of him wanted to help Naomi in winning over the redhead, but Cook soon realized how jealous Emily was now becoming of him taking away Naomi from her. _

_He knew Naomi liked Emily. And now he knew Emily liked Naomi as well. And he said nothing._

_Instead he urged Naomi to spend more time with him, you know, because he needed her help fighting all of his addictions. She was reluctant, but when his mother threw him out of the house, Naomi convinced her mum to let him stay in their shed. Now Naomi, sweet Naomi, couldn't refuse her caring nature screaming at her to keep fighting to save her friend from his self-destructive habits. _

_One night, Naomi came to him in the shed and cried upon his shoulder. She and Emily had gotten into an argument about never getting to see each other anymore. Naomi never told Emily why she was slipping away from her. She never told Emily that she was just trying her hardest to help Cook get sobered up. No Naomi, sweet Naomi, was too good of a friend to reveal just how bad his addictions had become. _

_Cook's heart ached for the girl. Looking at the blond's tears stream down her reddened face made him regret demanding her attention over giving it to Emily. So he tried to return the favor of everything Naomi had done for him so far . . ._

_Though he had always managed to keep his stash of drugs and alcohol a secret from Naomi, he started placing "gifts" for her everywhere. He might hide spliffs throughout her room or leave out a bottle of vodka on the couch in the shed. A now broken Naomi would half-heartedly confront him on it, but he would simply say he was having a relapse and apologize profusely for it._

_He was waiting for her to give in to the temptation and he was there when she finally did. _

_Naomi, sweet Naomi, came home from school, halfway to her fifteenth birthday, and drank everything Cook had been "hiding". He didn't put up a fight, he told her to sit in the shed and wait for him to return with more. _

_A few weeks later he gave her her first dose of MDMA. _

_A few days later, Naomi Campbell stopped talking to Emily Fitch for almost two years._

_During that time Cook could often hear Naomi whisper heartbroken sobs into her pillow for her innocence lost, for her chances of love lost. Her cries bashed him over the head like a brick and when he still caught her sending secret, longing looks at Emily, it tore at his soul. _

_He let Naomi spiral out of control and believe that it was all her fault. It was her fault that she wasn't strong enough to resist the temptation he "accidently" left around the house. It was her fault she couldn't be a good enough friend to him and save him from this mess she now found herself in. It was her fault she became this drugged up sex fiend and ruined the best thing she had in her life, Emily._

_Naomi, sweet Naomi was led to believe that Cook did nothing wrong except be a troubled boy who wanted a true friend and savior and it was she who failed. But how could Cook ever tell her the truth by then? How could he risk losing Naomi once she found out it was him who guided her down this path all along? How could he let himself lose Naomi like he made her lose Emily? _

_It was sick, he knew, but he needed someone to be fucked up like him. And who better a person that be than the only one in the world who ever showed you kindness?_

_

* * *

_

_*ooh baby_

_He took your soul _

_And left you out to dry_

_Stop_

_Now, you're home free at last_

_And the cracking whip_

_That howled_

_And scarred your back_

_Has stopped_

_Ooh it stopped_

Naomi stared blankly back at Cook after he finished explaining the truth behind their friendship. She felt like she was in a daze after hearing some life altering news. For Naomi, this kind of was that kind of news.

"Blondie, I'm sorry." Cook finally whispered and touched Naomi's shoulder. As if burned, she snapped out of her reverie, pulled back, and hissed at him. Soon a thundering slap landed across Cook's cheek and he could faintly taste the saltiness of his own blood.

"You, I gave up everything for you. I trusted you with my darkest secrets. I always fought to see the good in you even when no one else did. And this is what you give me in return? You put the grenade in my hand and bid me farewell as I blew myself up." Naomi spoke in a dangerously quiet voice and made Cook visibly squirm under her glare.

"Naomikins, please, I did 'cause you was all I had. I shouldn't 'ave, but . . ."

"No, no you shouldn't have Cook." Cook hung his head and there was silence. For how long, neither of them knew.

_*ooh baby_

_Love baby_

_Your, your only crime_

_Ooh baby_

_Stop_

"Cookie," The sound of his pet name brightened Cook's spirits and his eyes flew up to meet Naomi's.

"I need you to leave." A frown and verbal protest threatened to leak out of him, but Cook mentally shoved it back. He deserved this punishment. He grabbed a few things and headed out the back door, Naomi closely behind him.

"And don't do anything stupid, you tosser." Naomi shouted before closing the door. Cook never stopped walking or turned to look back, but a smile pushed its way onto the corner of his lips.

Emily groaned and rolled over to retrieve her cell phone by the side of the bed. She counted her lucky stars Katie was out clubbing tonight or else she would have thrown a fit at being awoken by someone calling Emily this late. The redhead didn't bother to check the small caller id box, opting to simply subject this mystery caller to hearing her extra raspy sleepy voice.

"Who the fuck is it?" Emily's voice cracked and the person on the other line made a quiet noise like stifling a giggle. Emily was about to hang up, but then the caller cleared his/her throat.

"Hey little bird, it's me. Do you have a minute?"

It was Naomi and it sounded like her voice was quite scratchy from . . . what? Crying perhaps?

"Fuck, yeah yeah, I'm here. What's up Naomi? Are you ok?"

"Ems, do you remember how you owe me a favor for making that cake for Cook?" Emily's sleepy mind struggled for a moment.

"Um Naomi, you owe me a favor for that. I helped YOU make that thing." There was a long pause on the other end of the line.

"Oh, right, never mind then." Emily feared Naomi was about to hang up the phone, so she started frantically sputtering.

"We-well wait, wait, was there something you need?"

"I . . . I was just wondering if you could come over to my house." Emily licked her lips and swallowed hard.

"You . . . you mean like . . . right fuckin' now?"

"Look, I know it's stupid ok? I just wanted to talk to you right now. I just . . . needed to tell you some things."

"And it can't wait until college?"

"No."

Emily bit the inside of her mouth. Emily clucked her tongue. Emily stared at the ceiling and found a mismatched dollop of paint that looked like Naomi.

"I'll be there soon."

* * *

_*"Rest"- The Temper Trap_

_Reviews would be nice to see how everyone thinks the story is progressing and to see if I totally lost touch of this thing in my absence. _

_As a side note, if there is anyone from England who is willing to let me bounce questions about the country and such off of them, that could greatly come in handy for me with this and future Naomily fics. _


	8. When Your Guard Is Down

_A/N: This chapter is a little shorter, so I'll just let you get straight to the action. Have fun kids._

When Your Guard Is Down

Emily Fitch stood outside Naomi Campbell's front door. She couldn't remember for how long, but it must have been awhile. Her toes were numb and her lips were raw from being nibbled on so much.

She feared what awaited her on the other side of that door. She feared Naomi might finally whisper her secret affections to Emily. She feared Naomi might touch her hand and let her eyes plead for their first tame kiss.

Emily feared this because she . . .

But Naomi wouldn't do these things to her. Naomi Campbell was not the loving type. So with this thought in mind, Emily steeled herself and slowly raised her fist to knock on the door.

The sound of her flesh colliding with wood rattled through Emily's brain like a thousand drunken balloons popping haphazardly. The last balloon exploded as Naomi answered the door.

The blond had been crying so feverishly that her eyes were almost swollen shut and nearly as red as Emily's hair. Said redhead felt a tremor of anger surge through her at the thought of someone hurting her Naomi so greatly. Still standing in the doorway, Naomi released a quiet sniffle and, without a care as to what happened next, Emily threw her arms around the blond's waist.

Naomi instantly smashed her own body into the shorter one being offered, burying her face in Emily's hair and wrapping her arms tightly around Emily's neck.

The redhead smelled like cinnamon and salvation.

Emily allowed Naomi to silently dry weep against her as the shorter girl carefully walked them backwards into the house and kicked the door shut. She led them to the couch, but once seated Emily simply let Naomi continue to cling around her like she was the only thing in the world worth holding onto. After a few more minutes of neediness, the blond pulled away from the redhead just enough to press their foreheads together. Naomi inhaled Emily's scent deeply.

Oh sweet cinnamon.

Naomi exhaled softly.

Oh great salvation.

"Ems –Emily, There are some . . . things that I want to tell you about. Some things I need to admit to you." Emily swore she could see blue flames flickering behind Naomi's eyes. The flames lazily drifted from side to side.

Sometimes erring on the side of guilt. Other times leaning toward the side of hope.

Was she prepared for this?

"What is it?" The redhead whimpered lamely. Naomi reluctantly stiffened her back a bit to face Emily properly, but she made sure to grip onto her hands. The feeling of the Fitch's fingers intertwined with Naomi's made the blond relax and tap into some hidden source of emotional power.

"Cook and I, we had a talk today. He's gone now, but the point is he told me some things that I never knew. And it made me open my eyes to shit I had tried to hide from myself." Naomi took a long pause, but Emily was growing impatient. She squeezed Naomi's tense hands and nodded for her to carry on.

"E-E-Emily, I know you've wanted to know why I . . . broke away from you a few years ago. I know you thought it was something you did wrong. But Ems, you never did anything wrong. The whole time you were blaming yourself for ruining things between us, it was really my fault. I hated who I had become and couldn't bear the thought of you getting caught up in all the shit I was in. I know I was a huge wanker, but it was just because I didn't want to hurt you more."

"But why the fuck did you leave me in the first place Naomi? I thought we were . . . kinda special together ya know?" The blond revealed a tight smile and gently glided her fingers down the side of Emily's left cheek.

"We were very special little bird. I just-I was just . . . Cook always made you feel uncomfortable with all his stupid comments and wandering hands. I didn't like seeing you feel like that. I cared so, so much about you and just wanted to protect you from everything. I wanted to help him get off drugs, so he wouldn't bother you anymore. I thought I was getting through to him, but I guess-I guess he couldn't handle knowing that your place in my heart was bigger than his. He tempted me with those drugs when he knew I was broken over the distance forming between you and me. He knew I thought I had lost your love; my only chance at having the fuckin' thing. That's why I fell into all of that shit so hard. I thought I'd lost my Emily and nothing else was worth properly living for then . . . that's all I ever wanted, was you. I'm, I'm so sorry Ems." Naomi took a breath to give Emily enough time to process what had been said. She ached to explain to Emily just how hard she had been trying to pull herself together this past month, all so the redhead would be happy with her. She yearned to describe to Emily the severity of kicking all of her bad habits for Emily, but how it was all so worth it.

If only the Fitch sitting before her would accept her.

Emily's jaw slipped ajar slightly as she stared at a freckle on Naomi's collarbone. She should have been rejoicing at hearing the length of Naomi's love for her. She should have been shivering with excitement over knowing this beautiful creature was finally voicing her feelings for Emily out loud. But instead the redhead only had a boiling sensation writhing its way up in the pit of her stomach.

She was hurt and that led to anger.

"All this time you let me think you hated me for who fuckin' knows why! You left my side when I needed you so desperately. I needed a protector from Katie's cruel words. I needed a protector from Cook's sloppy advances. I needed you to hug me and tell me I was a good person before I had to face my nightmares. I needed my friend Naomi! I needed you! I . . . I loved you Naomi and you threw me out like I was trash. You ripped my heart out and spat on it every time I had to watch your hands crawl over some other girl's body. You tossed my dreams in the air and shot them down every time you made me think I was still special to you, just to ignore me the next day. I wanted you to be mine, but now . . ." Emily broke into a crescendo during her speech, but finished it with a pained moan. She averted her eyes from Naomi's stunned gaze and bit her lip to keep the tears from falling.

"That's why I'm trying to change now Ems. I'm trying, so fuckin' hard, to fight to get back to the old Naomi. I want to be that for you, so there can be an us. I should have never done what I did to you, but I want to make it better now. I'm ready little bird." Emily quickly closed her eyes, as if afraid to see Naomi's face after her confession. Slowly the redhead began to shake her head negatively, but Naomi lightly placed two of her fingers on the side of Emily's chin and made the two girls face each other again.

_*You had a heart of gold_

_You had a heart of stone_

_I had a heart attack_

_I pulled you in?_

_You pushed me back_

_You're not so innocent_

_You're just a hypocrite_

_Now turn me on_

_Let me loose_

_Blow me off_

_What's your excuse?_

Emily could feel Naomi's breath on her lips. She could finally taste what she began to think might never be hers.

Before the blessed moment could occur, Emily made a strangled growl, placed her hands on Naomi's shoulders, and forced the blond away from her.

The searing flames behind Naomi's eyes were snuffed out. Her Emily had rejected her. Her Emily was not hers.

"Naomi I can't do this with you. I'm-I'm seeing someone else." Emily could finally feel the burning tears blaze a trail down her cheeks and pool at the bottom of her chin. The agonized look on Naomi's face was too much to handle; it was breaking the redhead's spirit into a bloody pulp.

"Who is it?"

"Her name's Mandy. We share history class together."

"When?"

"The day after we made that stupid fuckin' cake. She took me to the cinema. She's very nice to me Naomi. She's always been there when I needed her during this past month." Naomi's puffy eyes had either totally swollen shut or the blond shut them on purpose, Emily wasn't sure.

"I wanted to wait for you Naomi. If I knew I had a chance, even a long shot, I would have stuck by your side forever. But I started to worry you were just taking advantage of me. I thought you were seeing how everyone else does; just some quiet freak who can't stand up for herself. So, I did stand up for myself Naomi. I have someone who deserves me and treats me right. I'm sorry Naoms." The beautiful blond remained still and silent. Part of Emily wanted a confrontation; she wanted Naomi to know what she let herself lose.

But mostly, Emily's heart was simply vanishing in her chest. As if Naomi wasn't there at all, Emily raised herself up and left the house without another word or parting touch.

_*Your bones are pliable_

_So undeniable_

_Cannot commit to words_

_Words are indescribable_

_If I had my way_

_I'd eat you everyday_

_Come a little closer_

_Listen to the words I have to say_

Days might have passed by Naomi as she sat on that couch for all she knew. Slowly, she lifted up her exhausted limbs only to walk as far as the kitchen to slump against the base of the refrigerator. Deftly she flung the refrigerator door open and grabbed a bottle of vodka.

It was the last bottle of alcohol in the house.

Naomi squinted through her bruised eyes at the clear liquid in her hands. She could drown in its comforting depths and forget about all of this happening. Tomorrow she could wake up and easily find a whole slew of girls to satisfy her desires. Tomorrow she could easily buy a wide array of drugs to numb her stubborn dreams. But tomorrow she could not wake up next to Emily Fitch.

In a spontaneous flash, a terrifying scream ripped through Naomi's chest as she whipped the vodka bottle against the opposing wall. Tiny, stinking droplets of alcohol flew back and splashed on Naomi's face and neck while she smiled at the broken glass across from her.

That was the last bottle of alcohol in the house. That would be the last bottle of alcohol to ever be in the house.

Naomi was determined to show Emily just how much the blond did indeed deserve the redhead's love.

* * *

_*"Autograph"-Sick of Sarah_

_Please review._


	9. Talk it out

_A/N: I'm back everyone! I've missed you all. It is true I recently started a new Naomily fic and I will keep that one going, but I found out that people were upset that I didn't just stay focused on __Shudder__. I feel as though I can no longer deny you what you want, so here is another chapter for you._

Talk it out

She resembled that of a zombie now. Not in the crazed rampage for human brains kind of way, but the sluggish and dim-witted sort. She could see the one she loved just over the horizon, but didn't have the strength to run that far. She could hear her cherished one's voice just around the bend, but couldn't determine which corner to round. She could almost-just about-nearly there feel her angel's warmth when standing so close by, but didn't possess the courage to kill the space between them and touch her skin.

Emily was a zombie around Naomi now. Not that she wanted to eat her brains, but at least then she'd be in an, albeit horrific, intimate situation with the blond. But the suddenly sluggish and dim-witted redhead had to maintain the appearance of enjoying the company of her new girlfriend, Mandy. If Mandy, or anyone else for that matter, discovered exactly how much Emily still fell apart at the seams for Naomi, all her efforts would be for naught.

In this moment, reminding herself of the need to keep her distance from Ms. Campbell, Emily noticed she had been staring at said blond beauty. She noticed this because Naomi locked eyes with her in a fiery battle of conflicting desires. The surprised redhead squeaked almost inaudibly and broke the passionate gaze before anymore could be thought of it.

Naomi felt cheated by Emily's averted attention. She had felt Emily's soulful brown eyes boring into her temple for at least five minutes and Naomi was certainly not disappointed when she decided to turn her focus on the little redhead.

The expression Naomi saw Emily wearing told her almost everything she needed to know. It told her almost everything she wished Emily would actually say. Not only had she been thinking about the blond, but she was still being torn asunder by not being with the blond. Emily could pretend she was happy with Mandy all she wanted to, hell she'd been doing it for almost two weeks since announcing their relationship to Naomi; the blue-eyed girl knew better though. Naomi just had to be patient. Or was it persistent? Maybe charming or could it be pitiful?

_*to me, coming from you,_

_Friend is a four letter word,_

_End is the only part of the word,_

_That I heard,_

_Call me morbid or absurd,_

_But to me, coming from you,_

_Friend is a four letter word_

"Damnit, what does she want from me?" Naomi mumbled under her breath while glaring at her small hands in her lap. Emily was walking home with Mandy, so Naomi knew they couldn't hear what she contemplating while sitting on that bench, but others could.

"Well I think it's good you're feeling what you put her through for so long. Maybe you'll learn some grand life lesson now eh?" Freddie ruffled Naomi's short hair as he came to sit next to her.

"Fred, I don't want to hear what you have to say about this. And if you tell me anyways, I'll cut your balls off." A tiny rumble of laughter could be heard from Effy's chest when she materialized behind Naomi and began gently rubbing her shoulders.

"You know Mandy is only being so sweet to Emily because she wants to fuck her. At least you were straightforward with all the girls you've been with. Mandy means to break our Emily's heart." While Effy spoke these words, she had to put more pressure on Naomi's shoulders according to how tense the blond was quickly becoming. Even Freddie placed a hand over both of Naomi's, seeing how she was digging imprints of her nails into the skin on her palms. This time he conversed quietly and matched the anger and mourning on Naomi's face.

"None of us want to see Emily hurt. She deserves so much, more than all of us most likely. But she is with Mandy right now and we all gotta let her crash and burn if that's what happens." Naomi pulled away from Freddie in a flash and looked fit to claw his jugular right out of his neck. Katie appeared at her side before any screaming could begin.

"Look Freds, the lezza here can't just sit on her ass and watch ma sista look fuckin' stupid with that monster." Katie looked square in Naomi's eyes, possibly for the first time ever, and spoke as if no one else could hear them.

"Ya gotta fight fa 'er. I don't really like ya or nothin', but the Fitches 'ave a reputation to think about. We don't date ugly. You ain't special lezza, but you're sure as shit betta than mutant Mandy." Again, a small chuckle emanated from within Effy. It lightened Naomi's mood ever so slightly.

"I just don't know what to do. I cleaned myself up and I give her space like she asked. But sometimes I see her look at me and it's like, like she wants me close to her. But I try to be romantic and she hates me."

"Maybe she does want you close, but she's not ready for romance. Maybe you should just try to be her friend again. She can't let herself love you if she still doesn't trust you like she used to." Everyone turned to examine the sage who voiced this opinion. It was none other than Thomas, approaching with one arm around Pandora's waist and the other in his jeans pocket. He wore a hesitant smile. Slowly, Naomi's blue eyes crackled with light and her newfound smile made Thomas's bright and sure.

_*when I go fishing for the words,_

_I am wishing you would say to me,_

_I'm really only praying,_

_That the words you'll soon be saying,_

_Might betray the way you feel about me_

"Yeah, you're right. You can't have love if you don't have trust. All my romantic speeches and thoughtful gifts don't prove me trustworthy. I have to earn that again. I have to go back to where this all started. I have to be her friend and just her friend." Everyone around Naomi furrowed their eyebrows in confusion.

"Well, just for now ya know." Effy giggled now and Naomi was beginning to believe that the slender brunette was probably high at the moment. It actually touched the blond's heart to know she had friends who cared enough about her to listen to her problems even if they were in a drug induced stupor. That was the kind of friend she had to be for Emily, but with the stupor. And yet another heavy sigh rippled through Naomi's body.

"But how do I do that? I mean, I love her so much. How do I not let that show when I'm around her?" The group amassed around Naomi puzzled over the question for a length of time. Some searched the sky as if the answer lie hidden among the clouds. Others stared blankly at the ground and scratched their chins. Effy bit her top lip and looked as if she was suppressing another giggle. Strangely enough, it was Effy who solved the mystery.

"Don't try to hide it. She knows you love her and she should know that. But she should know that you want to be with her no matter what. Even if you're just a mate. 'Cause, you know, you love her so much." Pandora shook her head agreeably as if it was entirely natural to hear Effy spout such wisdom while she was high. In a way it was. Regardless, everyone else leered wide-eyed and slack-jawed at Effy for a moment. Naomi just smiled to herself, reached up to captured Effy's hands on her shoulders, and squeezed them gratefully.

"Thank you, all of you. I owe you loads. I know what I have to do now." Naomi pulled herself off the bench, waved to her friends, and headed home. She did have homework after all.

Everyone left behind watched the blond confidently stride away. Their hearts walked with her. Suddenly, Katie kicked Freddie's foot.

"Wait, what's she gonna do?"

* * *

_*"Friend is a four letter word"-Cake_

_Wow, it felt really good to write more of this tale. Now send some reviews my way yeah? You have nothing to fear. I can see that hundreds and hundreds of people read this story; now let me hear your voice. Promise I'll respond back to you and take your opinion into consideration._


	10. Mutants are bad

_A/N: So I desired to write another chapter in time for Valentine's Day, but I got busy with other plans. But I'm not taking a multiple month long vacation away from all of you, so that's good right?_

_By the way, thank you immensely for all the reviews. It may not seem like a big deal, but it does matter to us silly authors._

Mutants are bad

No fun was to be had when waking up with a hangover. This was a lesson Emily Fitch had never learned before this very morning. She wished she didn't have to have become acquainted with this rule.

Unfortunately, she knew this morning would not be the last day greeted with bleary eyes and a headache splitting her brain in two like an axe through melon.

Katie and James had left for school long ago, which meant Emily was horribly late. She attempted to swing her legs onto the floor and stand up out of bed. Instead, one leg's dead weight slowly slipped off the bed and pulled the rest of Emily's useless body down to the ground with it. She now found herself lying on her stomach with her legs splayed about, her right arm stuck between her bed and dresser, and her left arm sleeping soundly on her back. A mass of tangled and sour smelling red hair pooled around Emily's face. When she hesitantly fluttered her eyes open, willing the sun to set and start anew this very instant and sadly was disappointed, Emily was met with said pathetic red hair blocking her vision.

It appeared as though blood was rushing down her forehead. It appeared as though Emily's life was draining fast and she would die alone. No friends or family to wail their hearts out at the sight of her drunken corpse. No lover to hold her close and whisper a sweet, mournful farewell.

Emily Fitch's heart spun in her chest and propelled her up. Her eyes wrench open wide and her right arm escaped captivity. Her dead legs found life once again, but her left arm remained asleep as she frantically patted her head to discover no source of blood.

She was not dying after all.

At least not physically.

She would not be alone in the end after all.

Well actually. . .

But Emily did still have college to attend. She did still have a life to pretend to lead. So reluctantly Emily guided her screaming muscles and creaking bones toward the bathroom to shower. If push came to shove, she would try half-heartedly not to drown.

* * *

Half an hour later, Emily gently followed her feet down the stairs to the front door. Normally she would grab a small something to eat on her way, but she didn't trust her body to digest food just yet.

She weakly reached for the doorknob and, with great effort, pulled it open. Brilliant and damning rays of sunlight washed over Emily's damaged self.

Normally she would stand and let her skin soak in the warmth, but she didn't trust her undeserving spirit not to go blind in this perfect glow just yet.

It was a good thing she was wearing a pair of Katie's oversized sunglasses too, or else her eyes might have actually gone blind. After a moment of squinting pain, Emily tugged the door closed behind her and gasped when she leveled out her line of sight.

Naomi Campbell stood a few feet in front of her. A crooked, but shy smile adorned her lips and she nodded her bangs out of her eyes as she gave Emily a slight wave.

_*Although you think I cope_

_My head is filled with hope of someplace other than here_

_Although you think I smile_

_Inside and all the while I'm wondering about my destiny_

Surely it was not the sun that was so bright and warm before, but this lovely creature in its stead.

"Hell Naomi, you scared the piss outta me."

"Hey little bird, sorry 'bout that. I was jus wondering if you wanted to walk with me?" Naomi bit her bottom lip in anticipation and Emily could instantly feel a valve of happiness spring a leak in her stomach.

"Aren't you late? I mean, aren't I late? . . .what are you doing 'ere?" The blond took Emily's sharp tone in stride and grinned majestically through it.

"I wasn't quite feeling well this morning; hence I had a slow start. I heard banging around in your house when I was walking by, so I thought I'd see if you wanted to be late with me." As much as Emily yearned to dumbly shake her head like she used to and begin her journey with Naomi, sirens were going off in her mind.

Naomi might start trying to woo Emily again and in all honesty, Emily wasn't sure how much longer she could hold off those kinds of advances from the blond. But Emily had to, she had a girlfriend now. A girlfriend that was not Naomi Campbell. Of course that meant Naomi might also find out why Emily had gotten wasted last night for the first time ever. She could discover that Emily and Mandy had a fight. It might then be revealed that Mandy was aware of the fleeting looks Emily still flung Naomi's way.

But if Naomi decided to keep her hands to herself and her lustful thoughts in her own head, would that not break Emily's already fragile heart? That would be the far worst option. But alas, Emily Fitch could not resist the pull toward Naomi Campbell. The destiny magnets in their chest would simply not allow it; to fight was to fail.

_*Even when you see me frown my heart won't let me down_

_Because I know there's better things to come, whoa yeah_

_And when life gets tough and I feel I've had enough_

_I hold on to a distant star_

"Sure, dad always says to be late alone is akin to being a loser." Naomi's eyebrow shot up and Emily prepared herself. She knew full well what the blond was going to do next.

"Really?"

"No Naoms."

"Oh." Naomi cast her dejected gaze down to the ground and let fall her shoulders. Emily burst with laughter. It took only a moment in time for Emily to decide what her following movements would be. It took only a moment in time for the history of a love story to change course.

Emily closed the distance between the two women and slipped her left arm around Naomi's waist. The redhead beamed cheerfully as the blond raised her head back up.

Emily kissed Naomi's shoulder.

"Come on, we don't want to be losers." She saw it then, in Naomi's eyes. A simmering ember gorged itself on joy and whirled into a tornado of fire. It could not be explained, but Emily realized for the first time ever perhaps that it was herself, the perfect example of the color red that held such fierce passion and insatiable emotion, could somehow spark Naomi's eyes to turn a darker shade of blue. It was thrilling really.

Emily wanted more time to experiment with her power. She wanted more time with Naomi. Maybe, in some scenario bordering on the edge of possible, they could actually work as a couple. Maybe Emily still had it in her to try.

"So you are hung over then, yes?" The startled redhead was yanked back into reality by Naomi's question. She must have been daydreaming for awhile now; the duo was a few blocks down the street.

"Um, yes, hung over I am. Tell you will not." Emily glared at Naomi. Partly because the blond seemed fit to explode with a rash of giggles, but Emily also feared that Naomi might interrogate her.

"Only you, little bird, would turn into Yoda when you drink. How do you always manage a way to be wise?" Naomi clucked her tongue, planted a whisper of a kiss atop Emily's head, and resumed watching the world play out in front of them.

Emily was enjoying this version of Naomi. A little more affection than most good intentioned friends, not that Emily minded a bit of Campbell love, but Naomi also let the reason for Emily's drunkenness slide by. Something strange was happening between the two of them, and Emily was excited by it.

How quickly her adoration of the blond currently hugging her side never ceased to return. Naomi had her claws forever sunk deep into Emily's heart and soul, but the Fitch could think of no better predator to fall victim to.

"Usually Mandy would walk with me ya know?

"Lucky for me Mandy doesn't have the patience to wait for her hung over girlfriend."

"But you do, hmmm?" Emily couldn't determine for herself if she meant that as flirtatious banter, or as a dig at Naomi's character to stupidly still push her away. Blond hair covered the sight of blue eyes ever so carefully as Naomi bowed her head, desperately fighting to keep a tight, but sad smile on the corner of her mouth.

Emily panicked.

"Katie calls her a mutant. Mutant Mandy. She says our kids would be freaks. I can't figure out if she really thinks we could have kids together." Blue eyes met brown again and gratefully glinted. Both of the women adopted grins that quickly spread to a fit of hushed giggles.

Laughing at Katie's expense was a sure way to brighten even the most depressing of moods.

"Not that I'd want to have kids with her anyways." Emily said this a bit too loudly around a mouthful of laughter and instantly shot a worried look at Naomi.

"I mean, you know, cause she's a mutant." The sentence rushed past Emily's lips before she could bite them back. A blush to revel the most shameful blushes Naomi ever produced in the redhead leapt forth and painted Emily's cheeks.

The young Fitch began stuttering nonsensically and hyperventilating. Naomi turned to corral the small fiery haired woman into her awaiting arms and Emily greedily accepted the invitation.

With her little nose nestled against Naomi's chest, Emily deeply inhaled the scent of her merciful savior. It was that of mint and redemption.

This angel before her did not embarrass her with glee at her Freudian slip. Naomi did not torture her with demands of elaboration on Emily comments. She certainly did not accuse Emily of the things the redhead knew she was guilty of.

Naomi held Emily close and let the pathetic and confused girl find recovery. Emily took one final lung consuming breath.

Oh charming mint.

And one final long exhale.

Oh sweet redemption.

"Little bird, I think someone else has come to walk you the last block." As if in a haze, a quite lovely haze, Emily pulled back from Naomi's embrace and searched her face questioningly. The blond's head was tilted in the direction of the college. Emily's eyes drifted over and a scream was caught dry in her throat.

Mandy was almost upon them, and she didn't look too pleased.

Naomi extricated herself from Emily's lifeless arms and took a step away from her. Both of their hearts painfully lodged into their ribcages, not ready to say goodbye. It was then that Mandy reached Emily's side and, towering over the redhead, roughly gripped her bicep.

"I'm so happy to see you're ok. I got worried when you didn't show for History." Mandy attempted a smile down at Emily, but it appeared as what it really was; a sneer.

"Yeah well, I am fine. Just walking with my friend Naomi." Emily discretely untangled herself from Mandy snaking arms. She also discretely noticed the look of rage burning in Naomi's eyes. Her faithful protector.

"Oi, so glad you have such a nice 'friend' to deliver you to me." Mandy put a disgruntled emphasis on the word friend. Naomi was finally about to open her mouth and release an impressive defense, but Mandy spun Emily toward the college and nudged her onward.

"Right, well, see you later friend." The couple was now rather quickly approaching the school grounds. The whole way Emily looked as if she was ever so slightly being forced in this direction, away from Naomi. The blond could deal with people insulting her, but she could not handle anyone pushing her little bird around. But Emily managed to throw a glance over her fleeting shoulder to Naomi. Her chocolate laced gaze was sorrowful, but it beseeched Naomi to surrender in this battle. For now at least.

And who was Naomi to disobey Emily's wishes?

* * *

_*"Distant Dreamer"-Duffy_

_Keep those reviews coming please._


	11. Leaving is good

_A/N: Sorry my updates tend to be a little drawn out, but that's how life goes I guess. As always, thanks for all the reviews. I feel the end is near for Shudder, so your feedback is extra important to make sure this thing ends well. And as some of you know/will see, I do listen to what you have to say and even change the story accordingly if it makes sense to do so. But enough of me, things are getting good, so I'll let you read in peace now._

Leaving is good

_*You know it ain't easy_

_For these thoughts here to leave me_

_There's no words to describe it_

_In French or in English_

_Well, diamonds they fade_

_And flowers they bloom_

_And I'm telling you…_

Life had an unfortunate tendency to be horribly boring when Naomi was not with her little bird. This revelation was not a welcome one since Naomi had no way of being in Emily's presence more often. Though seemingly an endless amount of weeks passed between now and the time Naomi walked a hung over little redhead to college, said redhead was still tied up with Mandy.

To be fair, the blond did find herself with Emily a lot more since that day. The two had become friends again. Very good friends. Just like when they were twelve in fact. They went to the cinema, relaxed at coffee shops for hours together, walked aimlessly around Bristol. They couldn't help, but even share secret conversations through text messages when Emily was suppose to be with Mandy. No matter how it was to be done, Naomi and Emily made plenty of time for each other.

Blond hair shaded crackling blue eyes from the first rays of sunlight as Naomi sprawled out on her back atop her bed. Thinking about the time she had been spending with her little bird always made a lazy smile spread across her whole face. This morning the smile was so obnoxious it was followed by a warm feeling settling in the pit of Naomi's stomach. The silly sensation now had the blond snorting quietly with giggles and covering her eyes with embarrassment as if Emily would burst through the door at any second and witness just how happy she made Naomi.

Naomi suddenly cleared her throat and hoisted herself out of the bed with great effort.

Coffee. Naomi needed coffee. It was her replacement for alcohol and Emily was always more than willing to get a cup with her. Well Emily usually got tea, but Naomi couldn't touch the stuff. It wasn't thick and ruthless like espresso.

After slipping into a red plaid button up and shorts over floral leggings, Naomi wrestled her hair into submission and stared at her reflection in the mirror for a time.

_*These feelings won't go away_

_They've been knockin' me sideways_

_They've been knockin' me out lately_

_Whenever you come around me_

_These feelings won't go away_

_They've been knockin' me sideways_

_I keep thinking in a moment that_

_Time will take them away_

_But these feelings won't go away_

Subconsciously Naomi's fingers had already wrapped themselves around her cell phone, found Emily's number, and hovered over the call button. She closed her eyes and pressed down.

* * *

Emily had come to hate Saturdays. They were, after all, Mandy's days with Emily. No interruptions were allowed which really just meant no time with Naomi. Emily's other friends didn't even try to see her on Saturday anymore, not because they didn't want to, but they knew Naomi was always trying to gain more of Emily's attention if she could. The redhead appreciated all of her friends for finally supporting a possible relationship between the two.

Effy reluctantly even admitted to Emily that the brunette knew Mandy was still with Emily just to shag her. Of course this hadn't happened yet and the redhead never would let it happen. Emily was very near ready to end this charade with Mandy, but there was still one little thing in the way.

While Emily had rekindled everything with Naomi: trust, friendship, love, a trivial feeling kept her at bay from taking the last step into oblivion with the blond. But Mandy was walking on thin ice nowadays and Emily could see Naomi holding a sledgehammer in the distance.

By the way, today was Saturday.

Emily was actually having lunch with Mandy at this very moment, but Mandy's voice had just become white noise to Emily's day dreams.

"Aye, Emily, you alright?" Mandy peered into Emily's glazed over eyes and snapped her fingers. The redhead jumped at first, but finished the action with a disgruntled sigh.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Problem?"

"No, well yes, actually. For fifteen minutes I've been trying to talk to you about what we should do when college gets out. It's not that far off now."

"And, what did you have in mind?"

"I think we should go on holiday together. Find a nice beach somewhere and, maybe, make love on it." Emily choked on her sandwich. Mandy thought she had swallowed the wrong way and started patting her back fiercely. It was soon discovered that Emily had choked because she had begun laughing too hard while trying to eat. Mandy glared at Emily with questioning anger as the redhead finally looked up at the taller girl and shook her head.

"No, that's not going to happen Mandy." At hearing this Mandy threw her arms into the air and made a sound that was caught between a frustrated sigh and a suppressed scream.

"I don't get it Emily. We've been dating for months and months. If I knew this was how it would be. . ."

"You would have never asked me out yeah?" Emily clenched her teeth. Naomi and her hammer now stood right next to Mandy and her melting ice.

"That's not what I meant."

"I think it is. I know what you've wanted from me Mandy. I know you used to want to be like Naomi and have every girl chasing after you, but none of them wanted to touch you. Then you saw sweet little Emily Fitch and thought surely my standards would be low enough to include you." Mandy sprung up from her chair, knocking it to the floor, and thrust her finger into Emily's chest just like Katie usually would.

"Shut up you fat cow! You're just mad because the girl you love would rather fuck everyone else in college than even kiss you!" Mandy's eyes watered from opening so wide the moment her last words flew from her mouth. Emily was already outside the restaurant in a flash of red. The taller girl ran and caught her on the sidewalk before Emily could get more than half a block away.

"Emily, listen. That-came-out-wrong. I just. . .I, I know we aren't going to last much longer. I don't think you'll ever let yourself be with anyone for too long unless it's Naomi. But I asked you out because I saw how she was hurting you. I couldn't see you wait for her by yourself, suffering by yourself. I just wanted to give you some company until she came around, if ever. And alright I hoped you'd want to take a tumble with me. You are beautiful you know. But how about we just have fun while this thing lasts yeah? We'll go party tomorrow. . ."

"No drinking." Emily cut Mandy off and swore she burnt a hole through the girl with her stare.

"Alright, alright, just dancing. But let's at least end this thing of ours with a good time." Mandy smiled at Emily anxiously.

In the redhead's vision, Naomi slowly lifted up her sledgehammer like the grim reaper and let it fall gracefully. The ice underneath Mandy's feet cracked into millions of frayed webs.

"Tomorrow will be our last night together, do you understand?" Mandy's smiled relaxed a bit and she shook her head merrily. Emily scoffed to herself.

"Now please, I want to spend the rest of the day alone."

The taller girl attempted to lean in to kiss Emily's cheek, but the redhead quickly pulled away and looked ready to flare up. Mandy stopped her by waving and quite literally running off.

Emily stood in place for minutes, just staring down at her feet. If only Naomi was brave enough to risk calling her on a Saturday. . .

_**While you are away_

_My heart comes undone_

_Slowly unravels_

_In a ball of yarn_

Emily's hip started to vibrate. She dug her phone out of her pocket and held her breath.

It was Naomi's name on the called i.d.

"Naomi!" Emily exclaimed into the speaker after she accepted the call. The blond's chuckles could be heard muffled through the phone and it made Emily inhale sharply.

"Why yes, it is I. I know you're probably busy but. . ."

"No! No I'm not busy at all." More giggling on the other end.

"Well then, interested in grabbing a coffee with me?" This time Emily laughed softly.

"Yes, I would love to get a tea with you Naomi."

"Good, I'll see you at the coffee shop in, oh, an hour?"

"K, and Naomi?"

"Yes little bird?" Emily was breathing a bit heavy. She hoped Naomi couldn't hear that. Or maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she did.

"I. . .I. . .I'm just really excited to see you today." Naomi huffed.

"Did you get into a fight with a mutant?" Emily beamed when she heard Naomi say this. It was what they referred to Mandy as when she was being particularly vile to Emily. The redhead started to shake her head in the affirmative, but then remembered Naomi couldn't see her actions.

"Yeah."

"Did you win this time?" Emily noticed the edge in Naomi's voice. Emily's protector hated it when Mandy tried to push her around.

"Actually, I did."

"Do you want to talk about it when we meet?" Naomi's tone was now rather cheerful. Emily paused, a lot longer than what would be normal.

Did she want to talk about this whole debacle? Was she ready to be honest with Naomi?

_** The devil collects it_

_With a grin_

_Our love_

_In a ball of yarn_

_He'll never return it_

_So when you come back_

_We'll have to make new love_

"I think, I think I would like that yes."

"Then I'll see you little bird." The line clicked to signal the end of the call.

"Goodbye." Emily whispered this message. She whispered it in hopes it would follow the wind and land upon Naomi's doorstep. She whispered it and hoped it would lie in wait and embrace the blond as she stepped out of the house to travel toward Emily's side.

Emily whispered goodbye, but hoped by the time the word wrapped around Naomi's body, it would say hello.

* * *

_*"Sideways"-Citizen Cope_

_**"Unravel"-Bjork_

_Remember to review! _


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